Delpenn Breeder’s Cup Classic
Welcome to DelPenn. We are running a mirror meet at Delpenn that roughly approximates the conditions of the sim’s Breeder’s Bowl races. There are several 9-10 year long players at DelPenn, so we have been around. Many trainers at Delpenn have stock plenty good enough for the real sim Breeder’s Bowl races, and they are running them there. We all have some of perhaps lesser quality for our own Breeder’s Bowl mirror meet where Delpenn residents can compete with each other for decent purses and much more importantly, for bragging rights. There are three or four different groups at Delpenn, and many others who choose to compete as individuals. I’m sure everyone has heard of the Delpenn group Super since they have found so many ways to win friends and influence people here in the sim.) Super is a very powerful group of players and stables who truly are a powerhouse simwide. I have lost count of how many Triple Crown, Breeder’s Bowl, Equinics, and other prestigious races that they have won. Their current members are A.F.C., Whirlwind, Topicount. Another group is/was called P.B.S. which consisted of Jakematt and the most illustrious and of late mysterious Sal. We have heard little from Sal, but Jake is active and has very good stables based in DelPenn. There is a group known as the 2Goombas, but they really are bad medicine.,,,. The last DelPenn group I will mention is my group, F’ARSE. The F’ARSE group is an acronym of Fatattack, Avenger, Randyraide, S.D.M.F. Enterprises. We are the real bad boys of Delpenn and love shenanigans, conspiracy and controversy. One of our major goals is to spank the Super group at every possible opportunity. We always claim that we will lie, cheat, steal , manipulate, bribe or do whatever else it takes to win, We possibly (I will not confirm/deny) have a few covert members we sometimes use to rig races to our advantage, like entering a “rabbit” to burn up the early speed in a race. Anyway, we have learned a few tricks in our tenure in the sim. Noteworthy individual players are Revelation, Stretch, Mikehusker, Morrissey, Bobthehat, Doctahg, Ivanyamil and even Snowchief. I apologize if I left anyone out. The legendary Unbridled, who retired from the sim was a Delpenn resident. We also host the infamous Dr. Dipper Lip right here. Alright, on to the the Delpenn Breeder’s Cup Classic: An almost full field of 19 is carded to contest this 1/¼ mile on the dirt. No clear cut favorites here. 1
2 113911 INTRUDER(KY) super5 R Hall 51/1 Ditto. Super seems to be trying to wake the dead for an early Halloween.
3 100745 HEAVEN’S DOOR super26 H Popson 10/1 Super again. This one is much better than the first two mules and can run a bit. Spits the bit in graded races, no proven ability at 10 furlongs. Decent 50%+ in the money. Trained by ne’er do wells. Mediocre speed figs. Just another loser.
4 106944 SERAPHIC jmb C J Walker 18/1 This one is trained by the boss, Revelation. Good race record, exceptional at times, distance O.K. Threw in a clunker last out, may be ready to give us some competition at long last.
5 89242 FAPPABURST sarava02 Z Wango 11/1 Very consistent of late, likes the distance, is FAST. Trained by S.D.M.F., an outstanding F’ARSE trainer. Definite contender.
186144 BAND LEADER domedriver C O’Hara 24/1 Nicely bred horse who has failed to perform. Trained by our resident surgeon (us oldsters need one) and Super trainer A.F.C. Low speed figs, below average performer. No chance whatsoever.
7 40590 DON PEDRO afc2 T Crow 13/1 Yet another Super/A.F.C. entry. This good son of Danzig has run well in the past, but ran poorly in it’s last two. Likes the distance, and may be a contender—for the show spot.
8 116922 THRILL RIDE(KY) super30 N Jackson 38/1 I’m beginning to think that my pals in Super have stacked this race. Interesting strategy. I wonder where they learned that? I don’t care for the breeding of this 3 year old, and it’s inconsistent. Maybe next time. Maybe next lifetime.
9 102213 DARK PRINCES super27 Ra Williams 15/1 Super again! Unbelievable. This decently bred colt has been running pretty well lately. Two races at the distance, one good one bad. Possible, but improbable.
10 52791 GENOCIDE JUNKIES sdmf1 D Silver 11/1 Ah, a F’ARSE runner. How refreshing. Pretty consistent, has run well in graded races in the past, and always seems to run big in these resident races. S.D.M.F. training, so he’ll run big in this race. Contender.
11 102944 I DID MY TIME sinner C Butts 11/1 Interesting name with a myriad of possibilities…….Royally bred, Trained by Knighmare, a very good trainer. He has been run big figs at and around the distance, and looks well rested. Contender.
12 97510 UNSECURE ACCOUNT super11 I Wimpy 7/1 Super. Good figs, graded placed. This is probably Super’s best shot, but can he go the distance? Never has. Possible contender, but with an *.
13 3662 MIRACLE TO ME soulbleed H Ross 22/1 Fabulously bred Grade one winner. Consistent and has run big figs. A F’ARSE horse, once again trained by the mighty S.D.M.F. This one is very classy in a very well bred field. Contender.
14 112381 ALINA DANCER jakematt B Ironside 7/1 Jakematt, a P.B.S. trainer (is or was) has an outstanding entry here. Well bred son of Gone West has huge figs and is graded placed. Very classy, distance fits, and Jake can make them run. Contender.
15 109329 ARMED AND READY zewango2 Z Wylde 5/1 Great name. A top F’ARSE entry. Again, S.D.M.F. has an excellent one here. If he can make the distance, he WILL win. I trust this crafty trainer’s ability and judgement in entering him here, and believe that he will run huge in spite of a field populated by TEN Super entries. If they lose here, they may as well pack it in. Of course, most of their starters are plugs. F’ARSE is always ARMED AND READY.
16 12782 TURKO’S GHOST(KY) knightmare S Middleton 17/1 Another decent Knighmare starter. Only 3 years old, so his best may be yet to come.
17 123664 DEL PENN SUPERARSE(KY) vigilante C Iverson 22/1 My starter is also only a 3 year old, a son of Forest Camp who ran a huge 111 at the distance at the spa mirror meet back in August. If he runs a big one, he could win it all. I am a proud F’ARSE trainer, and am doing this totally unbiased article for the amusement of Delpenn and the sim at large.
18 116927 ATTENZIONE(KY) super2 H Wilson 31/1 1 Super, Super……#9. This Super 3 year old colt looks really good and has a show in a graded affair. Come back when you grow up, boy.
19 85393 SOLAR ECLIPSE(IRE) afc3 A Mitchell 27/1 Super, Super, Super. Super starter #10. A very average six year old with a zero chance which does not belong here. Trained by Dr. A.F.C. which is usually the kiss of death for a sim horse. Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die, huh, Doc? I owe you a lot of cold ones, my friend. Thanks.
Thank you everyone, for reading my nonsense here today. I haven’t written much in the sim in many years, so please excuse my convoluted and radical approach to this writeup.
If I offended any fellow Delpenners, tough luck. As always, you may respond in kind; we don’t sugar coat things at our residency.
It looks like a great field and I hope for a classic Delpenn finish, neck to neck to the wire. Good luck to all, especially the F’ARSE consortium who will undoubtedly win another mirror meet, much to the chagrin of our friendly competition, the Super outfit. Or is it the Micky Mouse outfit? Ha ha.