What Not To Name Your Horse
By ITCH
Not stop.
Not dead.
Not slow.
And certainly not corpse.
These are words to avoid when naming an animal which you hope will run fast and win races.
Lately, this writer has been noticing more and more horses with extremely poor names.
Let’s just do some quick, rudimentary research. A horse search for the word “death” reveals more than 100 horses!
DREAMING OF DEATH, DEATH IS COMING, LITTLE DEATH, DEATH IS HERE, BREATH OF DEATH.
You get the picture.
This is an epidemic!
Why, even the lovely and talented Spinround, my colleague at our BTB who has deep knowledge of the horseracing industry, linked a horse in chat she named HABEAS CORPSES.
Funny? Yes.
Good name for a horse? No! Heavens, no!!!!
I have said this a million times in chat and I am going to repeat myself here. You do not want to put a negative connotation in the name of your horse. What can be more negative than death? But yet, there are hundreds of horses with the word “death” in their names.
What are you people doing?
Doing to yourselves?
Doing to your own horses?
As I said I would do in chat, I just had to write this article as a public service to our Sim trainers all over the world. It’s a strange plea because I am begging you all to have mercy on yourselves! Have mercy on your own horses!
In keeping with the present theme, let’s do a quick horse search for the word “slow.”
Oh my God!
There are more than 100 horses with the word “slow” included in their names.
SLOW ME DOWN, SLOWLY FADING (an amazing double negative), MUCH TOO SLOW, SLOW DOWN II (the first one was not slow enough?)
In naming your horses, a breeder wants to suggest speed, high class and competitive character. Like say, Count Fleet. That’s a good name.
The thing with all these awful names is they’re not going away. Even if everybody stopped cold turkey right now, it might be another 10 years before all the bad names are out.
And yet, I know it will never happen. People are going to continue to give awful names to their horses.
Don’t say nobody warned you.
(Note: This article has been re-published because the lessons herein have been lartgely ignored. There can be no greater Simulated frustration than that felt by the Self-Appointed Simulated Name Police.)
Itch I need a name for this year’s Name Police foal. I have a few ideas, I’ll catch you in chat!
Lately I have been using the language of origin for the sire or mare to name my new foals. It makes for some interesting names that I challenge others to try to translate.
Using your suggestions I will be sure not to use LENT, DECES, LENTO, MORTE, LANGSAM, TOD, 慢,
死亡 !
I agree 100%. There should be a fine or suspension attached to bad names. Just STOP it!!
I’d be broke / permanently barred.
You misspelled “tarred and feathered”.
After seeing this, didn’t sound like something I would do anyway but I did find one in my stables named De’ad Stroke. It’s by Th’air so the reason for the apostrophe and a take off on a bowling term so I don’t think this qualifies. I have been exonerated! LOL
http://game.horseracingnation.com/onehorse_inline.asp?horse=11900012371 This fine specimen is ready for transfer to your barn Itch.
Wow. A double violation.
I use Metallica songs…
http://www.derbyville.com/onehorse_inline.asp?horse=11800024030
Well I Am guilty. Although she was named after a song. Maybe that is why she is such a dud compared to her pedigree.
It’s about context. “Slow” in relation to speed: no. “Slow” in relation to anything else is OK. I had a horse named Slow Twist. Not terribly good, but a winner and named for a Chubby Checker duet, so I’m fine with it.
Using “slow” and “stop” and even “dead/death” should be used in finding the positive. It’s when you use it negatively that it’ll “self-fulfilling prophecy” you to a blind alley. Names are hard enough to come up with these days. I no longer carry a badge.
Pheww, I’m ok then Itch. My stable name willbeglue doesn’t fit the epidemic. Hahaha
Don’t look in my stables lol
Metallinut would probably like http://ehorseracing.com/onehorse_inline.asp?horse=10900024528. But I think my worst offender would be http://ehorseracing.com/onehorse_inline.asp?horse=11700066669
Little Death – (La Petite Mort) has a very different connotation in French
Agreed, sdubya! Too bad the French version is taken – would have been a good name for offspring of sires STIMULATION or FOREPLAY….