Comedy Central vs Minnesota 2YO Dirt Challenge
It’s Comedy Central versus Minnesota in a battle for residency supremacy at the Minnesota and Iowa tracks this week. Over at track 47, the turf babies will run. At Iowa, Comedy Central’s nominal home track, 19 horses hit the dirt for a quick little 6-furlong dash that will prove once and for all that Comedy Central really is the funner and funnier residency. But don’t tell Minnesota that until after the race completes. The comedians like their Minny counterparts too much to taunt then about heir inferiority. Much.
When this challenge started in 2009, Comedy Central decided to allow Minnesota to win the first round. This was done to lull them into a false sense of security and superiority. Now that they have had a year to dwell on their laurels, Comedy Central will be going for the proverbial kill.
Each residency is running up to 10 horses in this race. Half of the entries must be fillies. Beyond that each group was allowed to run what it saw fit, so we have an interesting mix of debuters, maidens, winners, and even a stakes winner or two in here. Comedy Central is short one entrant in this race, but it’s ok, we didn’t actually need that last horse to still win by lots of points.
Speaking of points, scoring is simple. A win gets 20 points. A second gets 19, fourth 17, etc. The residency with the most points (which will off course be Comedy Central) wins. The prize is bragging rights. Beyond that, the owner of the horse that wins each race also gets a prize horse.
On to the field:
Cindyshero enters second-starter She Sends Me for Minnesota. One must ask who she is and where exactly she is sending this daughter of Brahms. One must also ask why Minnesota thinks that a 61sp like the filly earned in her debut race 6 weeks ago can possibly beat the Comedians who are of course faster, funnier, and overall better looking than the Minnyites. One may be disappointed that said Minnyites have no answer to those very important questions. Although, one might hear someone mumbling something about Tabasco Cat while poring over She Sends Me’s past performances and pedigree chart.
How did Minnesota get to break from the inner two gates? Simple. Comedy Central allowed it. We figured that Italst’s Stormy Atlantic filly Lido Beach needed that assistance to have a shot at coming home tenth behind all the Comedy horses. She’ll be tenth because she’s a very good runner. Her debut 68sp for a handy win in February is evidence of that. She just isn’t as good as the Comedy runners.
Did I mention how good the Comedy Central horses are? For proof, just check post 3, featuring Sportin Indy New’d. Rogers941‘s New Approach filly has been so excellent in morning workouts she didn’t even need to get a race in before shipping to Iowa to run in this prestigious event. Even better, Mr Comedy himself, Cmd, will be riding the filly.
Post 4 has a similarly awesome filly. Panthers3‘s Last Sunrise is characteristic of horses residing at Comedy Central. She’s fast. Sunrise has posted several bullet workouts in the last couple months, so the entry of the First Defense daughter was an obvious choice.
We have yet another fabulous Comedy Central filly wearing #5. Copper Camel, trained by Sweet16, is also unraced, but again it doesn’t really matter. The Roman Ruler filly will throw some shock and awe at the Minny contingent.
Back to the Minny mules. Post 6 is forced to host a Tale Of The Hills filly, Jail Time. She’s actually a winner, though a slow one against horses not as fast as the Comedy champs. In fact they were maiden claimers, and half the field was Minnesota runners. Hey, at least Testbarn09 got a win there because he isn’t getting one here.
Ah, a cool Comedy colt in lucky post 7. It’s a Henny Hughes kid running for Lawyeron. Henny Grand Hughes (gee, what a funny-looking name – how appropriate), like several of his Comedy compatriots, has never run before but really doesn’t need to have done so. He’s a winner regardless. After all, he’s a Comedian.
At first glance the 8 horse, Broken Line, looks decent. Then you look deeper and change your mind. First, Minny horse. Ouch. Second, unraced. That works for Comedians, but does not work for Minnesotans. Third, Johannesburg throws fillies that are too pretty to be fast. Poor Smubs to have such a horrible chance at tenth place.
Toyota Recall has 2 major points going for her. First, she’s a Comedian. Second, she was created by the super-awesome Birthday Fairy for the even-more-awesome Webdesign. She too is unraced, and it still doesn’t matter. She’s just that awesome. Her daddy (Tiz Wonderful) even said so. And hey, like her namesake she likes to speed up and won’t stop.
The king of Minnesota (aka Chuckrock) sponsored a race for some of his pals a few weeks ago Tgerk4 very smartly entered MC Squared, and very smartly had the jockey ride quietly without pushing the Einstein colt. Tgerk of course is a Comedian and knew he could fool those Minnesotans with this kind of trick. They have totally bought it and expect MC to lose. Little do they know.
The Cool Truth is that while in any other race this Lion Heart colt would win easily, he wont here. I guess that really isn’t so cool is it? Poor Minnesota. Still, Jimch8 can look forward to good things when the colt gets to face non-Comedy company next race. A horse that hits 68 in its debut is unlucky, not unfast. Unluckier yet to have to run tenth behind faster Comedy entries.
Remember that stakes winner i mentioned earlier? That’s the 12 horse. No one should be surprised it is a Comedy Central star. Proflame Language is pretty much a younger, filly version of George Carlin. Likes to swear, and is the best there is at what she does. Oh, and she’s alive. That helps a lot. As does running for the Add barn, because she knows how to add up her winnings.
Lucky number 13 is Cowboy Shootout. Lucky because he’s trained by Taffy, lucky because he’s (a son of) Offlee Wild, and lucky because he’s a Comedian. Like pretty much all of his pals, he’s unraced. But lucky. Remember that.
And 14 is lucky too, lucky to get to rub shoulders with greatness to the left. Ck Native Song, a Minnesotan, runs for Docoz. Runs perhaps is not the best description of what he did in his debut, which may be better characterized as a jog in company. But, he’s lucky enough to get to run shoulders with a champ on the right.
That champ is Choco Taco. Of course he’s a Comedian. One with a perfect record to boot. Nerdstable’s Belong To Me Youngster is already a winner on turf, and wouldn’t a second win on the better surface make his resume look that much better?
Post 16 is another poor Minnesotan. Poor because Rman’s Corinthian filly has only $0 to her name. She’s actually in the red what with traveling from Louisiana all the way up to Iowa for this race.Thiefian debuted last month with a pretty unamusing run, but she wasn’t so bad that she got laughed at.
Although it could certainly be funny, I will refrain from saying that Atrocious lives up to her name That would just be mean. Just being a Minnesotan debuting in iowa is bad enough for the Street Cry filly, she doesn’t need any more strikes against. Smubs should agree.
Just like Minnesota got the inner stalls, they also get the outer ones. NH Lake Bed is a winner. Good for Bedford’s horse, because after this race that nice 100% win rate drops to 50%. The only reason Lake Bed won anyway is a Comedian’s relative (A Jolly) deigned to ride in the mare’s debut. She definitely will not be aboard today.
The last runner is Less Mr P Em, run by Eman. Also a Minnesotan, the Stormy Atlantic filly would feel much more at home closer to the coast, like back in Massachusetts where she came from. The cornfields of Iowa are definitely not her thing.
So that’s all 19 runners. The oddsmaker favors the Comedians over the Minnesotans and rightly so. The final order of finish will be Comedians first through ninth, and Minnesotans filling out the field.
Special thanks to Chuckrock, Dundey and the Minnesotans for volunteering to be demolished this weekend.