Red Lips and the JADED Bonanza

I remember thinking, ‘this is why I came here, it must be.’  Sitting in the shadow of the Eifel Tower sipping my third glass of red wine made just in the countryside outside of the city, I remember the lips mainly; vibrant red, and perfectly shaped.  They were from a cosmetics commercial, except it was real; or was it?

I remember demands and a being on the phone.  I remember stating words like, ‘complete coverage,’ ‘JADED Bonanza,’ ‘all expenses paid,’ and ‘dirt mile.’  I remember thinking that they will throw me in jail once I’m through with this, there is no alternative.  But right now, all I can think about is those wonderful red lips.  Ah, Paris.

The story is I am in Paris to cover the prestigious JADED Bonanza, a race for some of the finest two year old fillies and mares capable to covering a single mile over dirt.  The purse is $70,000 split among the top finishers.  The reality is that through yelling on the phone, and some nice selling on my part, I was able to convince roys, snowchief, and squirrel to pay for my trip to the city of love AND provide me with a BTB credit card for ‘research expenses.’  What actually will happen is anybody’s guess, but I did arrive with a plan.  The plan was to fall in love and get rich, and with Ms. Lovely Lips just sitting down at the café table across from me, part one of the plan was moving on quite nicely.

 ‘Some more for you glass sir?’

Egad!  How dare this man interrupt my planning and admiration?  I was sitting at the table and did not even notice the short waiter arriving with a bottle of wine at the ready.  ‘Yes,’ I replied, ‘you related to J. Stivers?’  The waiter had no humor about my question, but it was a legitimate one.  J. Stivers is one of the finest to mount a thoroughbred at the French track, and tomorrow, in the beauty of the sun and the gala, he was to ride FOURTH SEAL OPENED (KY).  The wonderful brown trained by bhm appeared to be the class of the field being the only winner of a graded race, G3 – Arizona Shoot-Out Special, that is to run.  The odds makers, whom I cannot curse as they are part of my plan, thought differently and put this girl at 4/1.  As tempting as it may be to drop some money this strong wire to gate runner, the rewards just weren’t going to be sweet enough.

Besides, look at her.  She’s going to need much more money than what FOURTH SEAL was going to be able to provide.  Even the way she sipped her wine and looked out onto the plaza in front of the tower told me that everything she does will cost money.

Perhaps an exacta bid was in order.  Pairing AUTHORIZED STRIKE (ENG) with the race favorite FUNNY AND BRAVE (KY) could potentially bring a little more for my newly found red lipped vixen.  Both horses are making their first run in the Stake races, but both also have shown success in the mile at such a young age.  AUTHORIZED STRIKE trained by lgbost9y has posted the highest speed number in this small field of four by winning her last start with an 80SP.  Similar to FOURTH, the brown mare looks to take the lead and just keeps pushing the speed as the race progresses.  The race favorite according to the odds makers, FUNNY AND BRAVE will look to keep the leaders in striking distance and then run them down starting at the four furlong mark.  At the top of the stretch, this assassin of a runner will then destroy any remaining spirit her competitors may have with a very fast kick at the end.

But enough on horses, I needed to start phase one of the plan and was desperately trying to get the attention of J. Stivers brother.  I needed to send this beauty with the lips some wine – very expensive wine on the BTB card – to judge her reaction.  The reaction was key, as it would determine my plan of action for phase two taking place tomorrow.  Finally, after throwing a spoon my waiter’s way, he arrived not pleased at my attention grabbing efforts.  ‘Quick, before it’s too late,’ I stated, ‘get that lady over there something expensive, in a red, and give yourself 50% for dealing with unruly patrons.  Here, put it on this card.’

While the short attendant was working on my demands, I sat pondering the unthinkable.  If this fine lady was not pleased with such a selection of wine, I will need to hit the lottery to win her heart I thought.  The only lottery I knew of was the final runner in tomorrow’s race, JAVA ANCHOR.  This poor girl is not even owned by a trainer, she is part of the computer’s arsenal of steeds.  Clearly outclassed, the brown mare is not even running on her preferred surface, which is turf, the surface of her only win.  But 84/1 odds and a $10,000 cash advance limit on the BTB card had me calculating various scenarios in my mine.

It was then, during the mental calculations and before the gift wine was even delivered, that she, yes she with the lips, got up from her seat as was preparing to depart.  ‘NO!’ I screamed internally, ‘How am I to decide where the money needs to go?’  I was frantic, and tempted to just leap out of my seat and restrain her.  I was going to tell her something about the Foreign Legion, and undercover wine operations, and civilian assistance, when I noticed that she was coming my way.  Of course I immediately tried to play cool and mind my own business, but she strode right up beside me.  She bent down and whispered, ‘AUTHORIZED STIKE, FOURTH SEAL OPENED, FUNNY AND BRAVE.’  And before I realized what happened, she walked into the walking crowd into the plaza.  I lost her, or did I?  Regardless, I will be at the track tomorrow, placing the bets that red lips whispered into my ears.  And if anyone there sees the wonderful lady with the red lips there, back off, as I saw her first.  Perhaps this plan has a chance still.