RACING HQ – 2018 WINTER EQUINICS DIARY

  Racing HQ’s – Road to the Equinics    

by Darcy “Dingo” McPhee

 

G’day readers, my apologies for the long hiatus between articles, but me old boss Blue’s missus found out I knew where he was hiding and came after me with a bunch blood sucking vermin otherwise known as Big City Lawyers. This necessitated my rapid departure back to live with my indigenous brothers out the other side of the Diamantina, where I have been living the high life feasting on roo goanna witchetty grubs and world war 2 surplus 70-year-old spam.

Anyways a couple of weeks back I ran across this septic (that’s an American for youse that don’t speak aussie) tourist. Turns out he had got lost and saw our campfire so dropped in on the off chance we knew where the nearest town was. Well long story short I offered to guide him back to what could be called civilization for a few beers, food (that came packaged in plastic not dirt and skin) and $100.

Turns out this septic wasn’t a bad bloke as he was a horse owner/trainer back in the States, so we had plenty to chat about as we headed to the Big Smoke. As luck would have it we weren’t far (just under 1000 km) from me old mate Linton’s HQ for his world-wide race horse training and breeding conglomerate Yellow Dog Racing. It was quickly decided we should drop in unannounced and avail ourselves of his hospitality.

After driving non-stop all night, (it’s amazing what the thought of an ice-cold beer can do especially someone else’s), we pulled into the Yellow Dog Racing complex just after 5:30am. Apparently the bush telegraph still works as Linton was waiting at the gate with an ice cold 6 pack in his hand, introductions were made (turns out that the septic’s name was Larry) and we adjourned to the main house where breakfast was waiting, another 6 pack and home-made egg bacon and tomato pie.

After sitting round the kitchen table drinking breakfast for a few hours, Larry “larrcamp” and Linton “dino333” realised they were both affiliated to a racing residency named “RACING HQ” and that coming up in a couple of weeks was a huge event in the racing world The Winter Equinics. It turned out Larry was heading back to the States to get his entrant List Seeker ready for the big event, and Linton was off to South Korea (via Thailand to drop in on Racing HQ’s boss Greg “gcliffo”) to watch over his beloved Buckley’s Chance. As YDR also had an entrant entered in Vermont Fighting Natainui, Linton suggested I go back to the States with Larry to look after YDR’s USA interests for the Equinics as long as I agreed to write this article about my experiences. The deal was sealed over a few more coldies, and a good ol’ aussie outback meal (HELL NO!!  Not more bloody roo). It was also decided that we should have a pre Equinics RACING HQ get together, and where better than in the gambling capital of the world Las Vegas. Emails were hastily sent flights booked, Linton called the RIO in Vegas (apparently he is well known there) and organised 20 free suites for those who attended our “conference”. Two of Racing HQ’s Aussie members Jaimie “guru” and Anthony “scout2” responded eagerly. They jumped at the chance to travel to Vegas then on to Vermont to watch their Equinics runners Itza Cool and Shaithans Wind. As there were now 4 of us travelling east Linton kindly offered us the use of YDR’s private jet, while he flew on his horse transport North.

After a brief stop in Sydney to pick up Jaimie and Anthony, 23 hours later saw us landing at McCarran International Las Vegas. Arriving in a bright yellow executive jet that looks like an over ripe banana is a guarantee that you don’t go unnoticed especially after the pilot buzzed the High Roller on his landing approach. Seems that was normal for YDR’s boss on his frequent visits to Sin City, and was just their way of saying send the Limo we are here. After breezing through Customs we were met by a bright yellow Limo and hustled off to the Rio for a quick check in before us Aussies (all Vegas virgins) and Larry (apparently he is also a Vegas regular) were taken to our “conference” room to meet the Racing HQ who were attending on such short notice. Already there were

            Ricky “fishstix”            Grandma’s Glow & Kymar Seayou

            Andy “dontbetonme”   Absence of Light & Vindication Gone

            Duane “duanecrisp”    Atlantic Command

            Harry “harrylan”          Raise A Ghost

            Daniel “3dddz”            I Am Bimbo, Shirley Spings, Steel Nurv, She’s A Breawty & Superfly Snooka.

            Joe “chilimac”             Shady Camel 

            Bengy “bbt”                 Therese’s Terror

            Brian “zia”                    A Prize She Makes, Sabora, Watch Me Strut & Have New Doubts

 

Due to arrive shortly were from Canada

            Rod “phenomanaz”     I’m A Stranger Here

And from Jamaica

            King “chino”                 Dancing Shirley

The party had already started before we arrived but hit top gear once the Aussies put in their appearance along with our now adopted Aussie Larry who was cheerfully running around to all yelling G’day Mate, gimme a VB, which no one knew what he wanted (except us Aussies – for you uneducated that’s Victoria Bitter the true Aussie beer not that export muck Fosters)

The party moved to the main bar in the centre of the gaming room at the Rio where even our noise was drowned out by the sounds of the slots and crazy gamblers. It wasn’t long before Rod and King arrived, and it was decided we would all head to the Strip for a famous Vegas Buffet – based on local advice after much discussion (well nearly heated argument) on which buffet was best, we decided on the Bellagio (mainly because us Aussies had a must see noted on the Bellagio fountains).

Now I must say a Bellagio Buffet is way WAY better than chargrilled roo croc or goanna, and with booze included in the price a great time was had by all. We all bantered about our chances of getting a medal for Racing HQ and I must say we were fairly unanimous in that we were just happy to be competing and anyone that got a medal would be buying drinks for the rest of us for all of 2018.

After a feed we all decided we should go see a show, and as it was late notice we decided to see where we could find a block of 14 seats by calling back to the RIO who managed to get us all seated together at the Zombie Burlesque. With drinks before after and even during (part of the show is a complimentary lime jello vodka shot), I must say that the next 72 hours were a total alcoholic haze and it came around way too fast that it was time to head off to watch our charges race to glory. With the crowd splitting off in 2 directions Vermont and Seoul, those headed for South Korea were able to use the YDL flying banana, flying via Bangkok to pick up Linton and Greg. As I was YDR’s representative for Vermont the rest of us decided fly on to Vermont and continue the party there.

With the old adage of what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas adapted to now read What happens in Vermont and Vegas stays hidden until my post Equinics article, we flew out of McCarran for me into the total unknown.

See you all at the races

Darby “Dingo” McPhee

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