I OWN this race
Repeat after me:
I OWN THIS RACE.
Again.
I OWN THIS RACE.
Now, how’s that for sticking my weenie out at the Sim Gods? Pretty good, huh?
You don’t have to look to hard to see that I DO, in fact, OWN this race. First DPCD- Coast Line finishes second. DPCD II? Coast Line in a romp. DPCD III? Coast Line again. DPCD IV? Coast Line is denied the three-peat, but ORION wins in wire to wire fashion. AT 44-1!!!!
Yes, I do own this race. Frankly, I have no idea why these other curmudgeons even bothered to show up. I’ve got every inch of it covered. I’ve got an early speed horse, a legit stalker and closer that was a “Gift” from Richgins. How’s that for karma? Named after Rich’s beloved Pops, this one is most likely of my triumverate to finish first- but not without getting a battle from my other two horses.
Now, we might as well take a brief look at some of the slime that will try to spoil MY party on Saturday (good luck, you’re gonna need it, you hacks).
PP1- Queen Haack Four year old filly is truly a hack, as indicated by her 35-1 odds. I don’t even know who trainer ottox is among my pals at DelPenn, and I don’t care. Haack is going down.Glorified claimer will vie for the early lead, and most certainly be denied even that trinket (by one of mine, no less). Will never lead at any call. The only hope I have for Queen Haack is that she finishes the race before post time for race # 10.
PP2- Forlorner She’s old. She is so old, dirt won’t even stick to her anymore. She used to be a threat, but that was back in the Jurassic era. Front running alw win in 2888 finished her off. Toast. Mere fodder for the meaner sorts in here.
PP3- Good for Phyl Should be called Bad For Phyl, because that’s what she is. Tosses an occasional 90’s fig, but is usually much slower than that nowadays. Hey, it’s Christmas time, so in my best Santa impression for Good For Phyl- HO HO HO, HO HO HO, GO LOOK FOR ANOTHER RACE, HO HO HO!!!
PP4- Pop’s Birthday Gift Here’s the race WEENER!!! And yes, right now, we’re having LOBSTER DEENER! Four year old has just hit her best stride, after two straight years of me trying my best to mess her up. Pops live. And Pops will not be denied come Saturday.
PP5- Mt. Heng OK, OK, so I do have one that will vie for last place in here, and this is the one for that dirty little job.Suffice to say, I won this one as a “prize” on DPCD last year. Some stinkin’ prize, this turd. Thanks for nothing, guys.
PP6- Gone Wylde I think this one is owned by SDMF, now known as MPPB. He can’t train, he can’t run, he can’t play guitar- and his horse cannot win. It’s going to be an ugly day for the MPPB, and this one will fit perfectly in that mold. She may even battle it out with Mt. Heng for last place.
PP7- Orion Last year’s WINNER. Hasn’t done squat since. But nothing else matter but DPCD. She’s ready, and I’m not afraid to say it, she’ll be up front early. She likes it that way. Why should I argue? If she wires the field, so be it. After all, I OWN THIS RACE!
PP8- Arse Nobility HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! There’s a laugh! A noble ARSE? Don’t think so. This one should have a sundial attached to her legs, so she can be properly timed. Clocks have run out trying to gauge her slowness. At least a sundial wouldn’t do that. Figs usually in the 70’s. Sired by one of the Raider’s famous “Sires R Us” bums, Souvenir Copy. Hey, ARSE, here’s a souvenir for you- LAST STINKING PLACE!
PP9- Empower Tough to say anything bad about L, and this one actually has a shot, if she can repeat her last race. Come to think of it, she’s a super horse member, so she really does have a shot. If I’m gonna lose, might as well lose to one of my “own” other horses.
PP10- Seeking A Native Another of my own. Discard the crappy LTO race- she was merely faking it getting ready for this race. Can run on the front, can close, stalk, do it all (except win races- lolol). She’ll stalk Orion, and then see if her rickety rackety old legs can garner up a rally to catch that one.
PP11- Bonnie Blue Buda OK, now I know this one is Laura’s horse. So I won’t say anything bad. Except that she will not win, and that at best she will upset my trifecta apple cart. That’s about it for BBB.
PP12- Spirit of America OK, so I bred this one for Super. And she’s been pretty OK. She could even surprise in here. Maybe. Perhaps. Or she might just crap the joint in the final one hundred yards. Who really knows. All I know is- I OWN THIS RACE.
PP13- Barb’s Own Reality Hey, Jake, here’s a bit of reality for you, my friend. You’re gonna LOSE. Perhaps the worst Barb horse to run on the entire day. Eight furlongs, 11 furlongs, 58 furlongs, it doesn’t matter. She always loses. As she will on Saturday.
PP14- Raider’s The One HAHAHAH HOHOHOHO HEHEHEHEHEHE!! Please stop, I’m dying here? The One? The One what? The one PIG in the race? The ONE to finish dead stinkin’ last? The ONE to bring the spanking device over to ….oh, wait, this is a public forum, and I can’t talk about Arse spanking Arse. Can I? But I do know, this horse will be getting spanked instead of delivering a spanking come Saturday.
PP15- Shazaam Sahzaam! Now you can disappear, MPPB. Doesn’t even have seconditis- has more like fifthitis. She’ll close some ground late and finish about- fifth. No shot. Not even amongst donkeys.
And there you have it. Another race for me to own.
WIN- Pop’s Birthday Gift
PLACE- Seeking A Native
Show- Orion.
I OWN THIS RACE! And enjoy DPCD V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!