Equinics 2014 Diary – Universal Racing Club: URC STUMBLES INTO EQUINICS 2014

I can only hope, that the very cowardly and yet audacious billyboyx doesn’t burn his fingers at the lighting of the torch ceremony, another duty he was chosen for, after being informed that he would have to do the write-up for the Equinics 2014 event. After contacting the main URC headquarters about what he was supposed to do in regards to something he had no idea about, he was given this very eloquent PM response from the honorable Main Bazooka himself:
BB: What am I supposed to write about, what can I be of service to, and what’s the deadline, how do I live and where am I?
METALLINUT: RELAX BRO!!!!! It will be ok!! I promise!!! I…….
BB: You what……cause you ended in ‘I’……….and no other info?

The Chief got back to him about half a month later, with a couple of cheery words, roughly interpreted to mean “produce.”  Rumors have it, that he was seen spending most of his time in the pub with Quilly.

All hell has broken loose since then, but with a festive atmosphere permeating above any notions of basic common sense. Any inquiry on the part of a very confused billyboyx has been met with something in the neighborhood of:

TOPS: “Honor. Courage. Commitment. I’m not talking about the Marine Corps. No, we are talking something far more serious. Carrying the Equinics torch on the behalf of URC.”

KIMUGLE: “The sleeping giants, have woken up for new glory…..URC: the modern phoenix, reborn from the ashes!”

It’s like getting drunk weeks before the party in preparation for the party, but these guys don’t care, they have full compromise to everything they do.
Perhaps this is what has seen them attract members from countries as diverse as U.S.A, Spain, Denmark, Ireland, England and Jamaica. They are united by the euphoria of risk and adventure. It was within this context that Billy knew he couldn’t say “NO”, and besides, it wasn’t like anyone at the central offices was picking up his calls anyway.

When the head honcho at last reappeared this last tuesday, the words were decidedly fatal:

“I think it should be in (the article) by next weekend.”

Quite a price to pay for the mere indignity of checking the fraternity forum to find out what he-mares were, and then finding the term remarkably similar to shemales. Rumors have it that Billy still has no idea what the he-mares are, as he is known to crawl his way to world domination. To pour some salt on the wound of his bewilderment, he was offered some images and banners. He was seen staring at them intently, trying to figure out how to put them to use.

Regardless, other comments from residents began to sizzle in his ears:

‘And now comes URC: THE NEW BREED!!!’
‘Out with the Old and in with the New(bies)’
‘URC not residents, but one big happy family!!!’
‘Nobody gets left behind here’.
‘URC: Movin’ on up (like Georgia Weezy)’

Of course, nothing is as simple as it seems, and right in the middle of nominations for the event, the central office computers went batty (hacked?), and an emergency alarm was heard as everyone panicked, just when Kimugle was about to submit his 1000th stable for admission into the residency.
We are still trying to identify the offending party, but meanwhile, shame on you.

As the Universal troops continue to get ready for war, a looping, echoing chant has substituted the sound of the alarm:

LET THE GAMES BEGIN…ginnnn…..gin……in…….n……….

I can only agree.