BTB staffers survive frightening ride

Maybe, in hindsight, we should have known not to get in the cab when we saw the disco ball hanging from the rear-view mirror.

The driver, a wild-eyed Turkish immigrant, had a strong odor to him.

Thinking not enough of it, BTB staff members took our places in the taxi. It was about a 10-mile ride from our hotel to the track. We’re here to cover the Middle Jewel, the Black Middle Flower and other important races on the undercard.

Roxyken, Spin and Emmy sat in the back seat, while I sat in the front next to the aromatic daredevil. He drove quickly to the interstate, darting in and out of traffic.

Once on the freeway, the madman accelerated. Glancing over nervously, I saw the speedometer wiggle around 130 mph. At that point, I closed my eyes and starting praying.

Minutes later, the cab jerked to a stop, in front of the track.

On shaky legs, the BTB crew climbed out. We were in one piece.

“Don’t forget,” the taxi driver called out, just before speeding off. “Ras El Hanout to win!”

Relieved, we made our way to the press box.

Now that my hands have stopped shaking, I can type the fact that the first race I’m covering on the Middle Jewel undercard is the $200,000 Grade II MD Distaff going 8.5 furlongs on the main track.

“I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together,” said John Lennon and Paul McCartney in the Beatles’ “I Am the Walrus.” Adrian, aka The Astinator, pays tribute to that beautiful song with a beautiful horse. KOO KOO KACHOO, a 5yo chestnut daughter of Pulpit, is lovely indeed at No. 4 in her division. A win or a second-place run in this Grade 2 would move her up to No. 3. This is an interesting dynamic at the top of the fillies and mares dirt route division. Two of the three in front of Koo Koo Kachoo are very tough AP Indy mares. Poowillck’s UNION JACK FLYER is the current queen at No. 1 with 275 points. That 5yo daughter of AP Indy is  up a fair chunk on Canyongate’s HAIL THE THUNDER, a 4yo chestnut daughter of Thunder Gulch. Hail the Thunder is a remarkable mare, having risen all the way to No. 2 in her division in only 13 starts. She has 208 points. The second AP Indy in the top three is the remarkable SKIDMORE INDY, who continues to score graded points at her advanced age of 7. But Skidmore Indy is idle this week and Koo Koo Kachoo can jump over her with an exacta finish. The top of this dvision is compelling sport because all of the top four are in good form and scoring points. A lot of times, you may see horses at the top of the division who have run out of steam and are headed for a fall with expiring stakes points. Not so in this division. All of the top four have been running well lately. This is a division in flux. Koo Koo Kachoo is favored at 9-2 to make another move in the MD Distaff, and she’s the class of the field. Her earnings-per-race of more than $41,000 tower over this field. She’s in extremely consistent, longstanding good form. As with many Adrian runners, she’s a win machine. Koo Koo Kachoo has only missed the exacta one time in her last 12 races. Of those 12, she’s won seven. You can see how this mare has built a lifetime record of 15 wins from 28 starts. As stated, Adrian has worn a path to the winner’s circle with many of his horses. Often, he can be content to beat allowance fields to death, so it says a lot for this mare that she has raced five of her last six starts in graded company. If you see Adrian running a horse in a graded race, you can be sure it has earned its way there. This mare is uber-powerful in the penultimate stages of her races, but has had a little bit of a hard time converting big advantages at the head of the lane into victories. Koo Koo Kachoo was up by three at the head of the lane in her last, but got caught in a Grade 3 going this distance. Two back, she was up 4 1/2 lengths at the head of the stretch of the Grade I Original Margarita going nine furlongs, and held on to win that big Grade I prize. Koo Koo Kachoo could be in for a different kind of trip on Saturday, due to the presence of the ultra-quick Hard Secret. She is not likely to be afforded the large luxury of a big lead at the head of the stretch this time. This race has come up tough.

The Pisano Stables’ QUEEN OF MY LIFE only has four wins to show from her 20 career starts, but one of those wins was a doozy! It was getting near Halloween last fall when this 4yo brown daughter of Oasis Dream shocked the Grade I Last Ditch Handicap at 14-1. In doing so, Queen of My Life snapped a six-race losing streak and vaulted way, way up the divisional standings. With those Grade I points still in her pocket, Queen of My Life still has the points to stand at No. 11, just outside the Top 10. Can she muster a good finish here and push her way into that group? Since her huge Grade I score, Queen of My Life has lapsed back into her losing ways. She broke down badly in her very next race after her big win, proving how cruel the Sim can be. After winning the Last Ditch with a 106 speed figure, Queen of My Life relinquished her throne in a hurry, distanced in a short field of five with a 31 speed figure. The strain of winning that Grade I busted something in this mare. Who knows? Maybe the jockey fell off. That bad day was not the end of the world for this mare, and she has recovered to run good races since then. Three back, Queen of My Life came running to be second, beaten only a neck in a Grade 3 this distance. Two poor races going longer have followed and are an obvious cause of concern for any handicapper. However, she does cut back to 8.5 furlongs here, which may be a more preferable distance for this mare. We’ll see. She’s on a six-race losing streak again, and we know how she responded the last time she lost that many in a row. She won a Grade I.

Like Joe Montana, Dwight Clark and Ronnie Lott in the glorious decade of the 1980s, Papracing’s SAN FRAN GOLD is back at Simulated Pimlico to defend her championship in the MD Distaff. She is closing in on $1 million in earnings and could go over the top with a repeat victory here Saturday. This 5yo daughter of Giant’s Causeway is No. 15 in the division, and serves as a nice building block indeed to what is shaping up as a high-quality race here on the Middle Jewel undercard. Her career racing record of eight wins, four places and four shows from 28 starts suggests a consistent performer, but that has not been the case of late for this classy mare. She’s been off the board in five of her last seven, including a 10th-place run last fall in the Grade I Breeders’ Bowl Distaff. San Fran Gold responded from that disappointment with a two-race winning streak, but reverted back to her losing ways last out when a lackluster eighth in the Grade I Orange Blossom. Like many late runners, San Fran Gold either fires or she does not. Perhaps the name is fitting this hit-or-miss mare. After all, gold miners did not strike it rich every day in the wild days of the west. So, we will find out Saturday if San Fran Gold will be like the 49ers of 1981 and 1984, who won the Super Bowl but did not repeat. Or, as Papracing would prefer, will she be like the 1988 San Francisco team, which followed up a Super Bowl victory with another one the next year. She might have a little tougher task on her hands this year. Last year’s version of the MD Distaff carried only a field of eight, while we have 13 mares in this year’s field, which is looking strong.

DIZZYING INTELLECT, now this is one problem we will not have to worry about at this writer’s BTB desk. We’ll just call ’em like we see ’em and let the chips fall where they may. Gobidon Stables, representing the GR Simsters with his 46-stable operation, brings another member of the Top 25 to the MD Distaff with this 5yo brown California-bred daughter of Bertrando. This is a talented, versatile mare. She’s capable of winning both on turf and dirt, and at different distances. Gobidon is going to cut back on distance here in choosing to run in the MD Distaff. Dizzying Intellect has gone farther in her last six races, testing herself at distances as far as 12 furlongs. It tells you that this mare has tons of talent when she’s capable of hitting the board in a Grade I going Saturday’s distance of 8.5 furlongs, and also capable of winning a listed stake at 12 furlongs while maintaining her good speed figures. Something has gone wrong in the last two, but this mare has the talent to overcome her troubles. Before dragging home a dismal ninth two back in the Grade I Original Margarita, Dizzying Intellect had won three in a row. Now, she’ll try to get back to her winning ways by cutting back to a combination of distance and class which has brought at least decent results in the past. Dizzying Intellect shows two graded races at 8.5 furlongs. She has been third both times. Other than her massive win four back in the Grade 3 Girls Cap going 10 furlongs, her third-place runs in Grade I company probably are her best races. One of those was at 8.5 furlongs, and another at nine. It is this top-level ability at varying distances which makes this mare so special. With many Sim horses, you so much as ask for another half-furlong and you get trouble. Not with Dizzying Intellect. She runs fast anywhere from 8.5 furlongs to a mile and a half! That’s really something special as Sim horses normally so extremely distance-specific. We’ll see if she can snap back to form and repeat those two competitive runs she has shown at this class and distance.

We have a big dropoff in terms of stakes points from here. While Dizzying Intellect represents the fourth mare in this field in the Top 25, there are no more in the Top 100. 

Tons of speed on the far outside with Crandy’s HARD SECRET, a chestnut 4yo daughter of Hard Spun. With that son of Danzig’s reputation for precocity, it’s no wonder that CRandy was looking for a juvenile champion. He debuted Hard Secret very early in her 2yo year, in February. But, Hard Secret was not meant to bloom quite so soon. Her first four races were nothing compared to what she would become. That is, Grade I speed. Hard Secret ran her eyeballs out in her last race, almost winning the Grade I Orange Blossom at this distance. In that race, Hard Secret waged a brutal three-way pace battle against Skidmore Indy and YOFUNE NUSHI. To make matters worse, Hard Secret was caught in between the other two. Despite her daunting position and pace challenge, Hard Secret fought on gamely. The winner was the late-running SEEIN STARS, and Yofune Nushi got by Hard Secret on the outside, but she held off one of the top mares in the game in Skidmore Indy. Hard Secret finds herself in against tough field here, but she’s been here before. It’s unusual that a mare of this high class has missed the board so many times, 11 of 20. In hitting the board only nine times, she’s earned $447,000. That’s because Crandy always has believed in this mare. Again and again, she showed speed against graded company but could not keep up in the lane. In her career, Hard Secret has tried graded company nine times. She’s missed the board seven times. Early in her career, she won the Grade 2 Motherly Love in front-running fashion. CRandy kept matching her against the best the Sim had to offer, but Hard Secret no longer could carry her speed in the stretch. That’s why her last race is so impressive. It’s the first time since she won that Grade 2 way back in September 2010 that she ran through the stretch with that kind of strength. She hung on a lot better than she used to do. Can she do better and stay ahead until the wire? This mare has tons of proven speed and is bad news for any other frontrunner in this race. This is the most likely pacesetter.

KITTY WELLS is a 4yo brown daughter of Dynaformer whose career statistics are a bit deceiving. With turf blood from top to bottom, Bighoss was right to think he probably had a turf filly in Kitty Wells. Seven career starts on the turf without a single victory convinced him otherwise. It turns out that Kitty Wells runs a lot faster on the main track. Bighoss raced this filly on turf for the first six races of her career, but to no avail. The best she could do was a couple of on-the-board finishes to begin with. She was off the board in four maiden races in a row, and to the main track she went, at a flat mile. Boom! Off she went, airing by 3 with a new lifetime-best speed figure. So, when you’re considering this mare’s career statistics, you should look at the dirt numbers only. She’s got 14 starts on the main track, with six wins. The best of those came last September, when Kitty Wells shocked the Grade 3 Chicago Matron Handicap at 20-1. After that upset victory, Kitty Wells had gone from struggling to winning three of four, and graduating to a 111 speed figure. Since then, however, it’s been a struggle. The recent form on Kitty Wells is spotty. She has been off the board in five of her last six, and last two in a row. The speed figures have remained decent, but the good finishes just have not been there. This mare has raced without a signficant break since her debut as a 2yo, and instead of blossoming as a 4yo as a Dynaformer might, she’s running out of gas. Bighoss has tried to give her more time between her races lately, but six weeks does not appear to be giving her the rejuvenation she needs. Another thing is, she made her big score at nine furlongs, and never has run that distance since! She has gone longer, shorter, but never nine. This mare is undefeated at nine furlongs and owns her career-best speed figure and victory at the distance. It has to be her favorite.

Now, let’s do something a little fun for those good fellows over at Blazing Saddles and organize an impromptu chat-room roundtable for BOTTLE OF BUBBLY. This 4yo chestnut daughter of Pulpit is a scratch-bred who has shown speed going longer. Let’s open the floor to Jetman (aka the coach), MMaster (aka Matt, aka “Mate”) and Spinround (aka Eliza). Bottle of Bubbly is cutting back to a distance she’s never run on the dirt here in the MD Distaff. The coach is thinking less in terms of both class and distance. “Maybe listed at 8 furlongs?” said Jetman. “I would try turf,” said the Australian contingent, the good mate Matt. “Hasn’t run a mile since 2010,” said Jetman. “She’s got a stakes win and a third in last five starts,” Spin said, adding the trainer is doing a good job with her. “I don’t know that she’ll get signficantly better.” “Hey, she may run a 118 on turf,” says masterm. “Dang she is going to look pretty in the breeding shed someday,” said Jetman. “Yeah, I agree,” said Spinround. ” I think the drop back in distance might help her improve. Just my thoughts,” said Jetman. “Well, she’s moving in the right direction. I don’t think a step up to a G2 is a bad thing,” Spinround said. Jetman and Matt took a guess that Otis and MTK were prepping in the last for a graded run. I’m going to throw in my two cents here and say that I think my chatroom gang sold this mare a little short. Otis and MTK showed their hand with this mare last summer, when they ran her in the Grade I Players Club National Oaks, going 10 furlongs. It wasn’t her day, but the fact that the Galloplaz Sim Venture thought enough of her to run in Grade I shows what their opinion is of this mare. They like her. It looks to me like they’ve been biding their time since that lone, graded try of her career. With lifetime top speed figs of 106 in her last two, it’s time to try graded again. This looks like a fast, dangerous mare to me.

A new thing that I’m really loving to do in my BTB articles is find the source of an unusual name. When you see a name like KOSCIUSZCO, you know there has to be a story behind it. It turns out that Gipper of the Universal Racing Club is giving us a history lesson with this brown 4yo daughter of Deep Impact. This mare appears to have been named for Tadeusz Kosciuszko, who was Polish-Lithuanian and an American general and military leader during the Kosciuszko Uprising. He is a national hero of Poland, Lithuania, the United States and Belarus. Before commanding the Uprising against Imperial Russia, he fought in the American Revolutionary War as a colonel in the Continental Army. So, in reviewing the history books, thanks to Wikipedia, we find that the namesake for this mare was a real butt-kicker. Can Kosciuszco the horse proceed in similar fashion? She surely did so last out, when she came flying home in the Grade 3 Wiley Jenny going Saturday’s distance of 8.5 furlongs. That race alone is just a huge plus in this mare’s handicapping favor. After all, she just ran down Koo Koo Kachoo, the top qualifier in this field. “Mister city policeman sitting, pretty little policemen in a row. See how they fly like Lucy in the sky? See how they run? I’m crying.” Gipper might not have felt as bad as Lennon and McCartney about it, but he could not have been happy to see Kosciuszco come back for more in the MD Distaff. Koo Koo Kachoo has been hanging in some of his races and it was this mare who came flying to take advantage of it last out. If you said you liked this mare off that race alone, who could blame you? If she runs back to it, she’s mega-dangerous. Wow, this is a tough field.

The thing that really makes these graded races in the Sim tough is that oftentimes, the bottom spots on the qualifying rung are horses who belong to the Sim’s best trainers. That’s the case we have here with K’S WALL STREET, who is trained by one of the Sim’s best, Dr. Ledwith. In real-life Leddy has worked as a track veterinarian, which you might not think would help win races on the Internet. After all, Sim horses do not get sick. They do not need a doctor. Or, do they? Somehow, under the care of Dr. Ledwith, we see older horses who might be past their prime instead winning graded races. He knows how to win big races, you can take that to the bank. He knows how to bring a horse up to a big race. You can be sure of that, as well. Perhaps, if it a different trainer entered K’s Wall Street in the Grade 2 MD Distaff, we might be eager to handicap against her. After all, she’s been running exclusively in allowanace company, and restricted allowance company at that. Veteran Simsters know that it is a long, long way from N1S and N2S allowance company to graded competition. Yet, that’s what we have here in K’s Wall Street, a 6yo brown daughter of Giant’s Causeway. It’s interesting that she’s taking her graded leap in Maryland, the same site where she tried a similar trick years ago. It’s been a long time since Ledwith ran K’s Wall Street in graded competitition. Back in 2009, exactly three years ago, Ledwith ran this mare as a 3yo in the Grade 2 Black Middle Flower Stake. She had just won in graded company (and it would turn out that would be the only graded win of her life, so far.) K’s Wall Street was badly beaten in the Middle Flower and the ensuing Grade I Sister Hen Stakes, and Ledwith took this mare out of graded company, and out of stakes racing, period. For a long time, she was held to allowance races. Her speed figures stayed underdeveloped as Ledwith experimented with running her longer, or on turf. It was not until K’s Wall Street began racing at Saturday’s distance of 8.5 furlongs that she really took off and won her way into stakes racing. Even with her huge class jump, this filly is dangerous. She shows a 110 speed figure going 8.5 furlongs in her PP’s. Following this mare’s recent trend in her last five races since a break from September to December, it just feels like Ledwith is letting her out a notch at a time. He’ll let her go on Saturday and Sim trainers are advised to watch out when Ledwith fires a full shot with a horse.

SPECIAL RIVER is getting good respect from the morning-line oddsmaker at single digits at 9-1 despite qualifying all the way down here in the 10th position. This is a brown 4yo daughter of Special Week. This is a favorite sire of a good friend of mine, Nextbonus Bill, as that is the sire of his Middle Jewel champion, YOU SEE LA. (I figure that’s worth a mention on Middle Jewel Day.) Apparently, Special Week may be a favorite of Legions’ Infnity Farms, as well, if they keep getting stakes runners like Special River. In 20 career races, Special River has shown herself to be a consistent performer. She has seven wins and 15 in-the-money finishes. Even when this mare gets beat, she’s usually right in the thick of things, like she was two back when Special River was a hard-luck fourth, beaten only a length and a half in her stakes debut. Throughout her career, we can see how Legions has taken his time with this mare, moving her gently up the class ladder through her allowance conditions. We also can see how Legions has figured out this mare’s best distance. She has won going longer, but it appears that she is most potent at 8.5 furlongs, especially in the speed figure department. Special River has taken it one step at a time in terms of her rise up the class ladder. So much for that approach! Legions is throwing caution to the wind on Saturday, jumping Special River from two semi-successful listed stakes runs all the way to Grade 2. When the morning line oddsmaker assigns the mare 9-1 odds, it tends to confirm that the jump makes sense. She could not beat listed, but she’s gonna try to beat a tough Grade 2 field. At least she’s gonna try at her favorite distance.

Speaking of a mare getting good respect from the morning-line oddsmaker, let us bear witness to CLEVER HAACK. This 5yo brown daughter of Ghostzapper will go to post at 8-1 despite qualifying only 11th for the MD Distaff. It might be that the oddsmaker is giving respect to the trainer, and for that, we would have no problem at all. Haack is a longtime veteran of the Sim, and always has been a winner. The Otto Hack (Venezuela) outfit manages 40 stables for the Hispanto Parlante residency. Haack has started nearly 24,000 horses in the Sim, and has an impressive aggregate strike rate of 20.6 percent. Impressive! For the most part, what Haack has done with Clever Haack is to beat allowance fields  and occasionally take a shot in graded company. Unfortunately, Clever Haack has not had much luck in graded fields. In seven career graded tries, Clever Haack has missed the board six times. Often, she has been beaten badly. The lone successful race in graded company for Clever Haack was the Grade I Original Margarita Invitational back in March of 2011. Clever Haack’s last two races, both victories, sure look good. But, the record book shows that this mare has struggled in spots like this. She has a longstanding trend to reverse on Saturday if she is to finish near the top of the MD Distaff. The price is an underlay, even with that two-race winning streak and a tough, experienced trainer like Haack at the helm.

What a training challenge BY AND BY, an injury-prone light gray 5yo daughter of Medaglia D’Oro has been for the Boss Man of Empire State Racing, Trotter. She’s only started 14 times as a 5yo, and for good reason. She’s blowed up, twicet. Maybe that’s what her name really means. For twice in her 14-race career, she’s said “Bye” and “Bye Again.” This mare really has put Pete’s patience to the test as he keeps having to bring her back from apparent breakdowns. Take a look at that race three back if you want to see a real anomaly of a horse. Four back, By and By skyrocketed to a 112 in crushing a listed field of 12. It seemed that Trotter’s reclamation project was complete. Once before, this mare had broken down, in March of last year. Trotter did the right thing, waited until summer before he ran her again. The time off did the trick. She took three races to get back into shape, the blossomed big-time with that 112, which remains a career best. But then, the dang mare broke down again three back, an inexplicable last of four with a 69 speed figure. If there is a mare to root for in this race, it might be By and By because Trotter deserves better luck with this mare. Her race last out, which was her debut in graded competition, was better than it looked. She made a strong late run and looked like she might even have a chance to win before hanging just a little and settling for fifth. Even so, she was less than two lengths from the winner. She kicked into winning position, and the dice just did not fall her way. Maybe she’ll have better luck this Saturday.

The MD Distaff has come up very, very tough and the final piece of evidence behind that argument is NOT IN THE HABIT, a 4yo chestnut daughter of indian Charlie. Earlier, it was suggested that one reason graded races in the Sim can be so tough is that many of the bottom qualifiers are trained by some of the Sim’s best. This mare fits that bill! Not in the Habit is trained by Tees, who is definitely in the habit of winning graded races in the Sim. Can he do it with the 13th and final qualifier in the MD Distaff? Win or lose, Sim players everywhere might take a lesson from the career management of Not in the Habit by one of the Sim’s best trainers. This mare was bred to be fast early in her career, and she was. Not in the Habit won five of her first seven races, three of those victories coming during her 2yo season. Not in the Habit backed up the precocity suggested by her sire, Indian Charlie. Then, predictably, Not in the Habit started to struggle. After winning five of her first seven, she lost seven of her next eight and did not return to the winner’s circle until last out, when she aired in an open allowance. The brilliance of Tees’ training job here is that he has figured a way to have his cake and eat it, too. She remains lightly raced, making only her 18th career start here on Saturday and appears to be improving. Tees got the wins he was looking for when she was a juvenile, but not at the cost of her career as an older horse. He only started this mare eight times as a 3yo. He saved something with this mare and the plan has worked beautifully. She’s in good form now, and Tees strikes all the way up into a tough Grade 2. She cuts back to 8.5 furlongs for this, having raced exclusively at nine panels of late.