NWRC Cavalcade Cup Classic
Its been a long time coming. Its not the Breeder’s Bowl. Its the NWRC Cavalcade Cup. And if you’re not excited about it, you’re either not a member of the NWRC or you’re clinically dead and you should really see about getting a proper burial. Because this it IT, baybee! This is the NWRC Cavalcade Cup Classic and this is the one for all the donuts! Except maybe for all the donuts available for the taking in the Breeder’s Bowl. And maybe the other Cavalcade races. Ah, forget them! This is IT!
Your field for the 2005 running of the NWRC Cavalcade Cup Classic is:
#1 Broad Wings (31/1) In The Wings X Kris X Broad Brush – catdancer – Tommy
You might think Tommy would have to be a little optimistic placing Broad Wings in this field. But let me tell you something. Tommy knows everything! Want to know how many Portuguese Escudos it takes to buy a turkey and horseradish sandwhich? Ask Tommy! Want to know if this is the right spot for Broad Wings? Ask…. well, Broad Wings is a real good boy, anyway.
#2 Solar Song (8/1) Deputy Minister X Nureyev X Bold Ruler – squirrel4 – Tracy
Salad Tongs really hasn’t won much of anything. Unless you count just about every race in the NWRC that mattered in 2005. He’s graded placed and is owned and trained by Tracy who types like a guy but isn’t.
#3 Deputy Paul (11/1) Deputy Minister X Forty Niner X Al Nasr – n2racing – Todd
This old warrior has been around forever and has won just about every race thats ever been run in the SIM. Even the races he wasn’t entered in. He’s trained by Todd who enjoys spending his spare time by sitting in his front yard and throwing rocks at his neighbors for laughing at him.
#4 Big Biz (12/1) Spectacular Bid X Risen Star X Cox’s Ridge – punisher – Arnie
Big Biz is a terror on the listed stakes circuit and has won or been on the board more times than a ’73 LTD Station Wagon with no doors has been entered at your local drag strip by a bunch of drunk teenagers. He’s owned and trained by Arnie who wears nothing but black clothing and lives in a house with no lightbulbs. And thinks he’s Batman. But he isn’t.
#5 Thorn Bulldogs (23/1) Law Society X Imperial Seal X Explosive Bid – kyfiesta – Tommy
This horse has a ton of wins including one in an NWRC Series event. Its the second entry in this race for Tommy who certainly wouldn’t be interesting enough to describe twice were it not for the fact that he wears track pants on his head and screams ‘Buttermilk!’ a lot.
#6 Coastal Mining (7/1) Numerous X Mining X Coastal – goody4 – Dave
Unfortunate Timing wins and wins and never gets the respect he deserves. So lets not start now. Dave is his trainer and, unlike Unfortunate Timing, Dave sure knows what its like to finish second a lot.
#7 Mr. Niner Again (7/1) Forty Niner X Deputy Minister X Mr. Prospector – bigmoose – Tracy
In spite of being scary good of late, Mr. Niner Again hasn’t got a nickname yet. I blame his completely obscure bloodlines. He’s the second entry for Tracy who is well known to be a compulsive peeker. And thats all I’m saying. Thats all!
#8 Dixie Quest (24/1) Dixie Union X Coronado’s Quest X Green Desert – dadepark – Dave
Dixie Quest will be stretched to the limit to compete with this field. He’s trained by Dave. Not Dave. You know, Dave. Which I, for one, find not the least bit confusing. Unless it turns out they are twins. If they are, I bet they are evil twins. Just a hunch.
#9 GoodRunOfBadLuck (11/1) Royal Academy X Kaldoun X Le Fabuleux – goody2 – Dave
Graded placed Too Many Letters has been one of the fastest horses around for some time. He’s not as sharp as he was last year, but you never know. He’s trained by Dave. Not Dave. You know, Dave. Its completely off topic but I think the SIM would be a better place if there was a race, once a year, restricted to horses named Dave. And trained by Dave. Well thats what I figure.
#10 Silver Flight (10/1) Silver Hawk X Singspiel X Relaunch – jesterjb – John
Honestly, I find it hard to believe that John has managed to train a horse that has not only won a race but is also stakes calibre. But thats exactly what Silver Flight is. He’s untested but he sure looks fast. You know, I’m feeling a tiny bit of remorse for killing John last year. Well… he needed killing. But sorry anyways, John.
#11 Rock Cutter (8/1) Giant’s Causeway X A.P. Indy X Forty Niner – liblelady3 – Arnie
If you want to find a big time contender in this field, well look no further than graded winner Sock Butter. I mean… watch out. He’s the second entry for Arnie who, I have it on good authority, does not in fact live at 1122 Boogey Woogey Avenue.
#12 Strategic Star (11/1) Kris S. X Soviet Star X Secretariat – laserbarn – Ken
Strategic Star has about a go-zillion wins. Trainer Ken has the home track advantage and it has to be considered a tiny bit unfortunate that he’s drawn a notoriuos rehab client for a jockey. K. Murray… is on the juice.
#13 Canadian Idol (24/1) Woodman X Storm Cat X Seattle Slew – murray2 – Ken
This horse has shown a nasty and horrible affinity for that turfy green stuff but trainer Ken has him on the right track today. A longshot at best but one you just have to root for, he’s the second entry for Ken who, I believe, though I haven’t checked my figures, has never won a race. Ever.
#14 Apple Splash (29/1) Forbidden Apple X Generous X Bucksplasher – jarid – Dave
Apple Splash made his first entry, last time out, into a stakes race on God’s intended surface and, as a direct result, has won exactly once in a stakes race on God’s intended surface. He’s trained by Dave. No, not Dave. And not Dave either. You know, Dave. Thats him. No… ah man. Dave! Thats who I mean. Stick with the programme.
#15 Inishturk (16/1) Noverre X Maruzensky X Dancer’s Image – kaif – Greg
I’m not ashamed to admit it. Every time Iwishkurt (was my trainer) hits the track in a *real* race, I cry and clap with girlish glee. And who wouldn’t. He’s a real real good boy. He’s not my horse. Though I often claim that he is. No, Iwishkurt (was my trainer) is owned and trained by Greg, who is currently in prison. Oh sure, he claims not to be but the fact remains that he hasn’t been to a Saturday chat in over three weeks and only one story can possibly be true. Believe the one you want to believe.
#16 Musique Tojours (19/1) A.P. Indy X Mr. Prospector X Lyphard – pedroza – Todd
Musique Tojours is another horse who will be hard pressed to compete with this field but he gives trainer Todd a second kick at the donuts. It is a little known fact that Todd has the strength of ten men. Ten rather small and sickly men. But ten men nonetheless!
#17 Planet East T (10/1) Eastern Echo X Game Plan X El-Mana-Mou – puddinpuss – Ted
Planet East just refuses to die. He’s been winning forever and though today might look a bit tough, he’s the only entry for Ted who has won every race ever run in the SIM, even the ones that weren’t carded. Twice.
And thats it! Thats your field! Who’s gonna bring home the donuts? Who cares! Like I would actually tip my hand in the NWRC Cavalcade Cup Handicapping contest… (I’m just going to copy Chris’ answers. But don’t tell him)
Go get them donuts!
Go! Go! Go!