The Comedy Central Salutes the Beaver

Any innuendo suggested in this article does not constitute or imply an endorsement by BTB or derbyfever and does not necessarily state or reflect those of the members of Comedy Central or the Canadian Government.

While scanning through the races this week I could not help but to be immediately drawn to the beaver. All my life I have gravitated toward the beaver, one might even argue that we have all descended from the beaver. So, not wanting to pass up this glorious opportunity, I will take this time to stand erect and Salute the Beaver.

The race is a $50,000 allowance test for all two year olds run at seven furlongs over the dirt course restricted to the residents of Comedy Central.

HE BREW(CAN) – trained by the infamous rodent, the Canadian bred son of Milwaukee Brew sharpened her incisors with a third place finish in the turf version of the series in his racing debut. Eligible to improve with a switch to the dirt and an added furlong, the two year homebred could scoop up the water-lily’s with an improved effort here on Saturday…chance off best

WINNING DUH(CAN) – is a two year old Wilko filly racing in the interest of the redhill stables. Beaten soundly in the first race of this series, this filly should benefit from her debut, and with a back-end of AO Indy x Nijinsky, that’s enough to give this gal another chance…besides have you ever known a beaver not want to take down a tree…might surprise

CLEAR THE ZONE(CAN) – two year old Flaming West Canadian bred colt running under the decorative colors of the npark stable battled early in the same edition of this race but was unable to carve into the lead of the race winner. Bred to go longer, the light grey homebred will benefit from the added distance but will the bettors give a dam…your call

SEEKING A BEAVER(CAN) – reads like fantasy, the two year old Seeking the Best (IRE) filly trained by the dragonslayer dominated this field in a gate to wire performance in the series debut over the turf course. Switch to dirt is the wild card here but a similar effort will leave the boys chasing her tail once again…one to beat

SERIOUSLY NORTH(CAN) – racing under the yellow and blue colors of the vkstables is the two year old daughter of North light(IRE). Must have been the runt of the litter as the turf bred filly was beaten soundly in her debut against these and the switch to the dirt doesn’t play to her favor. Maybe her “Dear Enemy Phenomenon” kicks in, but she’ll have to prove it first before I lay down my Canadian pounds…must show more

HERE TILL I DIE(CAN) – cmd trained son of Milwaukee Brew was closing ground fast on SEEKING A BEAVER last time out and the switch to the dirt plus the added distance might land him the Beaver this time around. The roan homebred is the first offspring from the multi-stakes winning mare PIT OF DESPAIR and looms a formidable opponent in this Beaver Salute…dangerous

BOILEAUR MAKER(CAN) – two year old Milwaukee brew filly running for the arsenal syndicate turned in an even performance in her debut with these and is another of the Milwaukee Brew offspring in this field that will benefit from the surface switch and added distance. Second offspring to a Stakes winning Storm Cat mare and half to stakes placed AR bred filly, this Canadian bred should be making up ground in the final stages and just might find her way around the river to get the job done…don’t dismiss

HERE TILL I DIE(CAN) should turn the tables on SEEKING A BEAVER(CAN) this time around gaining the respect of all us beaver lovers out there. 

And remember… 

You’ve got to hold the football like you would hold your lover. Gently, yet firmly. You wanna be both nurturing and clinging at the same time. Oh, yes. Just like making sweet love to the football. Be naughty with the football. Mmmm, spank it. Ever so gently. Spank it. Oh, uh, sorry, children…