Comedy Central honors Bernie Mac

By ITCH

I don’t know if Bernard McCullough ever attended a horse race, but his robust personality would have fit right in at the track.

McCullough, known to the world as Bernie Mac, died way too soon this past summer at the age of 50. His memory is honored this week in the Sim by Comedy Central, which presents the $500,000 Grade I Bernie Mac, a six-furlong dash on the main track.

Perhaps it is fitting that the Bernie Mac should be a short sprint. Fifty years is a short time on this beautiful Earth. Whatever you thought of Mac’s comedy, and even if you were one of those $2,300-a-plate huzzahs telling him to get off the stage when he told a bad joke at a Barack Obama fundraiser, you can appreciate that this was a good, family man. He was married to his wife, Rhonda, since 1977. She and their only child, Je’Niece, both were at his side when he passed away in August due to complications from pneumonia.

Like Mac’s life, Comedy Central was afraid that the three weeks between the Breeders Bowl and Saturday’s race would be too short. They were afraid they would not attract any of the runners from the Sprint.

WRONG!!!!

They got the champ!!!

I am so happy to report that the Bernie Mac features the BB Sprint champion MR TOMS RIVER NJ, trained by my good friend Las Vegas Bob. Not only that, the Bernie Mac also has attracted CHRONIC ADDICTION, the only horse in all of the Sim who is ranked ahead of Mr Toms River NJ in the sprint division. We also have the No. 1-ranked 3yo sprinter in CORPORATE FINANCE, and another Top 10 older sprinter in IN A SIMPLE RHYME.

It’s a No. 1 vs. No. 2 matchup here in a battle for supremacy in the sprint division. Doesn’t get much better than this.

The Pedro Racing Empire’s CHRONIC ADDICTION never got his feet under him from post 12 in the Breeder’s Bowl, and finished a disappointing 10th. Undeterred, Pedro comes right back here in the Bernie Mac, and why not? He wants to defend his top spot in the division, and this son of Gone West has rebounded from a similar performance in his immediate past. Four races ago, Chronic Addiction was parked four wide in the Grade I ASPCA Restricted, and finished 10th. But, he rebounded with two decent runs to be third in graded company his next two. Then, the Breeders Bowl disappointment. So, this fine horse has been no better than third in his last four races, of which two were clunkers. Might it be that the long campaign of 2008 is taking its toll on him? Or, can we attribute those two dismal runs to bad post positions and rough trips? It will be interesting to see how much is left in the tank for Chronic Addiction as he attempts to defend his No. 1 spot. It also has been interesting to see how Pedro has learned this horse. With the ultra-stamina influence Ela-Mana-Mou as the dam sire, he clearly intended to breed a stayer in Chronic Addiction. However, when the horse was distanced at 12 furlongs early in his career, Pedro knew it was time to change course. Instead of a marathon runner, what Pedro learned he had was a champion sprinter. It’s a credit to the trainer that he figured out what made this horse tick and developed him into a champion.

I’m not rooting against anybody else in this race, but please take no offense that the impartiality of good journalism is abandoned when it comes to Bob123g. He and his brother, Paul, are probably my oldest and best friends in the Sim. They were the pillars of the old West Virginia contests, where I think they really learned how to develop their good horses into stake performers. I am not ashamed to say that I was rooting for MR TOMS RIVER NJ on Breeders Bowl day, and was thrilled to see him win in such grand style. Breaking alertly from a favorable No. 2 post, Mr Tom sat pretty as you please in the garden spot early behind two soon-to-fade frontrunners. Approaching adroitly, Mr. Tom pounced at the head of the lane, bursting to a 2 1/2-length lead that he would keep for Sim eternity. Actually, the runner-up got within 1 1/2 lengths, but never threatened the Breeders Bowl Sprint champion. I know how lovely that must still sound for Bob. You got the Breeders Bowl champ, my friend! If he can run a repeat race here in Iowa Saturday, he’ll be the No. 1 sprinter. This horse has been kicking butt all year long and there’s no reason to think he’s going to do anything different here on Saturday. This is only the 26th career start for this 4yo son of Storm Cat whose blood is as blue as the sky. A win would vault him over $2 million in career earnings. Good luck, Bob!

Our third qualifier is the aforementioned CORPORATE FINANCE, who is indeed the No. 1 3yo sprinter for the Natrap Stables, representing the Kentucky Horsemen. This handsome roan son of With Approval is a downtown closer, and just did not fire on Breeders Bowl day. He was last of 14, which coupled with Chronic’s 10th-place finish, tells us that the BB Sprint just was not a race for deep closers. With both of these fine Simulated animals finishing poorly in that race, we have more of a tendency to allow excuses. With both of them failing to fire, we have to think the track was more conducive to the front than the back end that day. Corporate Finance will not have near as many quality horses to pass in this race as he did BB day. This field is top heavy, with the No. 1 and 2 runners, and really top heavy to the top four, with the rest falling off considerably in the rankings. There is not as much to do in this race, which has to help, and Corporate Finance already has proven he can compete successfully in graded compeitition against his elders, finishing a close-up fourth and beaten only a length three back in the Grade I Tri-City Sprint. I don’t think it’s far outside the realm of probability at all to expect a vastly improved performance from this striking colt here on Saturday at a juicy price of 9-1.

IN A SIMPLE RHYME is another stone closer for the Black Label Stables of sdmf. This 5yo brown son of Forty Niner fared a lot better than the other two come-from-behind types in the Breeders Bowl, finishing strongly to be third, three lengths behind the winner. Can he make up that distance here on Saturday? Three lengths is a lot to change over the course of only three-quarters of a mile. If anybody can do it (well, maybe other than Lenny), then Sdmf is your man. Representing DelPenn National, sdmf is a very tough 17.4-percent trainer with good horses aplenty. This one is ranked No. 9 in the sprint division and looks to move up with a big run here Saturday. This horse gained a lot of his ranking points in Dubai this spring, when he took down the Grade I Sand Castle Golden Sprint. Since then, however, it’s a seven-race losing streak, which includes four finishes off the board. In a Simple Rhyme needs to get his feet moving again if he’s going to remain at the upper echelon of the sprint rankings. That being said, he did run a pretty fair race in the Breeders Bowl and maybe he can move forward off of that. I think it’s probably fair to say that the Black Label Stables would like to see this guy in the winner’s circle again sometime soon.

Down on the rail we have another 3yo in ENCOSTINA, who comes to Iowa via the land down under, that being Dowelly’s Hunter Valley Stables, representing Queensland Racecourse. Unlike several others who are looking to rebound from poor performances, this brown son of Encosta De Lago is in sharp current form. He carries a three-race win streak into the Bernie Mac. The best part of it is that, yes, he has proven himself a winner against his elders. Both of his last two wins were against older horses in non-graded company. Encostina won a thrilling race last out, beating Willypike’s WYVERN to the line by only a nose. That’s the good news. The bad news is that Wyvern is only ranked No. 73 in the sprint division, and now Encostina runs into No. 1 and No. 2. Maybe it’s a good time to catch them, though. The Breeders Bowl was only three weeks ago, and it could be that the bloom is a little off the rose for those big-timers. One interesting fact about Encostina is that he shares the same pace-stalking style as Mr. Toms River NJ. Where will he be early in the race in relation to the big horse? Will he be right alongside? Will he be able to stare the Breeders Bowl champ in the eye and not back away? We’ll see. This is a big opportunity for this horse here on Saturday.

The No. 6 qualifier also enters this race in decent form. It’s NO RULES for the Stoners Stable. This 5yo brown son of Peace Rules has been a model of consistency for Stoners, only missing the board four times in 32 races, of which he has won 16. As stated, he’s in sharp form, having been second in his last two. The real test for No Rules here is whether he can handle graded company. As stated, he’s only missed the board in four of his career races. Three of those four misses were in graded company. This horse has a little bit of a tendency to hang in the lane, which really shows up when he finds himself up against the Sim’s best. There are only 12 horses in here, and while the Bernie Mac is top heavy, it cannot be described as the best Grade I from top to bottom. Maybe that will work in this horse’s favor. Also, it might work in his favor that the big guns are coming off the Breeders Bowl on only three weeks rest. You have to find something you think is going to help a horse that has faded off the board in all three of this graded tries.

INDY STREET is next for Beefcake, and is another 3yo. This chestnut son of Street Cry carries a two-race winning streak formed in allowance company into a jump to the deep water of Grade I. He’s also facing his elders for the first time, which is going to be a huge test, especially in a Grade I. Astute handicappers may classify this 13-1 shot as a horse taking two jumps in the same race, which always is very difficult. He’s jumping in class, up to Grade I, and he’s jumping in with older horses for the first time. It’s a lot to ask, but the horse is razor sharp, with two straight wins and escalating speed figures. That speed fig of 110 last out does fit with these, but it was earned in allowance company against 3yos only. If he can replicate that effort and get near the top three at the end, Beefcake will know he has a heck of a horse. Well, he already knows that, but if this colt can handle this tough assignment, he certainly launches forward in the Sim class echelon. A tough, tough test.

CRANKY SQUIRREL is another 3yo facing older horses, but he handled it just fine last out in a non-graded stake. Racing for the Pierchinski Stables, this light gray son of Maria’s Mon is dismissed as the second-longest shot in the field at 17-1. The horse has been on a roll since breaking his maiden. Like the top-ranked contender, the Pierchinski Stables were convinced they had a route runner in Cranky Squirrel. The horse struggled in maiden company at longer distances, and it was not until he was taken back in distance to the sprint range that he started to excel. The colt broke his maiden at seven furlongs, and has not looked back since. He won another three races in a row after his maiden score, and suddenly his career record wasn’t looking so bad, after all. It’s always interesting to look at the career past performances of stakes horses and see how their trainers have figured them out. The operator of the Pierchinski Stables eventually realized that this horse was not cut out for two turns. Since then, he’s been aces, and we’ll see if he can handle the jump all the way to Grade I off that nice second last out against older horses in a non-graded stake. Big test, but this horse is moving forward.

The Black Label Stables have another entrant in this race in STONE N BURN, a deep-closing brown son of Gone West. It just might be that sdmf has picked out the Bernie Mac as a soft spot for a Grade I, as evidenced by entering this horse. After all, Stone N Burn has campaigned mostly in allowance company throughout his career thus far. He’s had some success, winning five races, but his only two non-graded stake tries have both gone off the board. It’s hard to imagine a horse who has yet to prove himself worthy in non-graded stakes company jumping up and giving trouble to the Breeders Bowl Sprint winner. I am afraid it is a horse like this that makes the Bernie Mac top heavy and bottom light. No handicapper can expect a horse who has failed against non-graded to jump up and contend in a Grade I. This one would be a surprise.

OBLITERATOR is another allowance horse who has yet to do it in non-graded company, let alone Grade I. This 4yo brown son of Aptitude was a well-beaten fourth in his only stakes try, some seven lengths from the winner. Now, that race was at 7.5 furlongs, which is a lot different than six panels. It may be that this closer is a lot better suited to this distance than the near-mile. He’d better be, because he’s thrown into the deep water here against the BB champ. I think trainer Ladofmanor, operator of the Briant Breeding and Racing Empire, probably realizes that. I think what is happening here with the entries to the Bernie Mac is that some opportunistic trainers have noticed that there is not a full field here, and there may be an opportunity for a lesser horse to pick up some graded points. It looks like Lado is taking his shot here. It’s hard to imagine a horse who has earned only $54,000 in his career giving any trouble to a horse like Mr. Toms River NJ, who looks to pad his wallet over the $2 million mark here.

HUCHEY is the next-to-last qualifier, and is dismissed as the longest shot in the field at 28-1. He breaks widest of all, and has earned only $51,000 in his career. Before we dismiss his chances entirely, we have to mention who his trainer is. It’s Theatrical, one of the Sim’s all-time greatest. It’s hard to just draw a line through a horse who is trained by a legend like this. What might the great Theatrical have up his sleeve with this horse? Well, for one, he’s razor-sharp, having the “magic triangle” in his last three, showing dramatic improvement at every call. He won last out, escalating to a 109 speed figure. He’s a 3yo, and could be ready for another improvement. Handicapping-wise, however, this horse has to be for fans of Theatrical only. The horse has never so much as competed in a non-graded stake, let alone a Grade I. This is a huge class jump that does not seem especially likely, even in the hands of a great trainer.

Finally, we have MOIR OF THE NOIR, racing for the Twinhollow Stables. This horse is getting awfully good respect on the morning line for the last qualifier in the field, and will go the post at only 11-1. Normally, the last qualifier in a stakes race goes off at a lot bigger price than that. What gives? It’s the speed figures that are the likely reason the oddsmaker has given this horse a short price. He ran a 110 and a 109 in two of his last three, but those were in allowance company. This horse has yet to prove he can contend in non-graded stakes company in dirt sprints. He does have an on-the-board finish in a non-graded stake, but that was on the grass. He faded to eighth last out in a non-graded stake this distance, which hardly inspires confidence in the jump to Grade I.

GOOD LUCK EVERYBODY!!!!!!