Haw Haw Derby

A man walks into the psychiatrist’s office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear, and a banana in his right ear.  He says, “What’s the matter with me?”

The psychiatrist says, “You’re not eating properly.”

The co-feature of the Illinois card this week is the 10^th running of the Grade III Haw Haw Derby.  The “good” turf course awaits a largely unproven field of nine three-year-old colts.

Three of the more prominent runners faced off four weeks ago in the Grade II Boston Derby (held of course in Maryland).  The winner of that race, Northern Bay, is the second choice in the morning line.

Here is a look at the field:

PP 1 THE STARDUST(ENG) (GENEROUS(IRE) x SHIRLEY HEIGHTS(GB) x VAGUELY NOBLE) bred and trained by greatnames (Ajm Racing, 10%) Odds: 7-1, Style: E

What’s different about a bulimic’s birthday party?

The cake jumps out of the girl.

All five of the Dust’s wins have been from on the lead or from being within a nose of the lead.  Last time he got caught in a tough battle in the Boston Derby and faded pretty badly.  He’ll surely be going for it again, and he looks to be the speed of the speed, or at least the other early speed looks content to let him get the lead.  He’s faded frequently and may again, but for the price, he looks like a very wise wager.

PP 2 DANEHRO(AUS) (LONHRO (AUS) x DANEHILL DANCER (IRE) x RED RANSOM) bred and trained by deyoto2 (Champion Lodge, 12%) Odds: 5-1, Style: S

A beautiful woman asks the man next to her at the bar, “Can you make me feel like a woman?”

So he takes off his jacket and says, “Here. I need this ironed.”

With a win and a second in his two races on off tracks, this colt was pleased to see the rain.  He makes his graded debut off a very quick second in an allowance race last time.  There is certainly precedence for winning a Grade III off an allowance win and his speed figure last time is the second highest in the field, so there would be no surprise if he pulls the minor upset and overcomes the class issues.

PP 3 SEPTOPIA(AUS) (REDOUTE’S CHOICE (AUS) x DYNAFORMER x LYPHARD) bred and trained by scootboy (Scootboy Stables, 19%) Odds: 5-1, Style: S

A bear walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a………..beer.”

The bartender says, “Why the big pause?”

He wasn’t given much respect last time as a 10-1 shot in the Boston Derby, and he ran to the odds. That last race was his graded debut, and sometimes a horse will run better in his second try at a class level.  He did get the kind of pace breakdown he was hoping for last time and passed a lot of horses, but not enough.  The early pace looks solid here, and late running horses like this one may have a hard time.  A low percentage jockey doesn’t help.

PP 4 MERCUTIO(IRE) (HURRICANE RUN (IRE) x CAVEAT x STAGE DOOR JOHNNY) bred by videogenic, trained by floralpark (The CVBear Racing Empire, 11%) Odds: 16-1, Style: P

The woman who finished last in the 100 meter breast stroke said to the judges, “I don’t like to complain, but those other girls were using their arms.”

The lone longshot in the field was the last to enter the race.   He’s the longshot because he’s only raced three times, he’s the only one never to run a triple digit speed figure, and he’s out of a young sire that hasn’t had much stakes success so far.  On the positive side, a colt with only three starts is eligible for dramatic improvement, and he gets a decent jockey.

PP 5 NORTHERN BAY II(KY) (NORTH LIGHT (IRE) x GIANT’S CAUSEWAY (IRE) x UNBRIDLED) bred and trained by supapogs9 (POGORACING@SCOTLAND4EVER STABLES, 20%) Odds: 7-2, Style: S

Two cannibals are sitting by the fire, and one says, “Gee, I hate my mother-in-law.”

And the other says, “So, try the potatoes.”

He went into the Boston Derby as the seventh choice, but he handled that field with ease.  Like this race, the field in the Boston was not that impressive, so it takes a little bloom off the rose, but his advantages are clear: He is the only colt in the field with a graded win.  He owns the highest speed figure in the field.  As the highest rated runner in the field, he gets the services of the jockey that has for years dominated Illinois racing.  Much to like.  His problem is the same as the other late runners in here – the early pace my not back up.

PP 6 WAR GAME(KY) (MR. GREELEY x SAINT BALLADO x STORM CAT) bred and trained by wistful2 (Tropicount Stables, 19%) Odds: 5-1, Style: E/P

I have a friend who married a trophy wife.  It wasn’t for first place.

Top trainer decided to step him up in class after a pair of triple digit speed figures.  He does figure to be prominent early and has shown he can handle the class – he was second in a Grade III race in January.  His recent return to routes after seven straight sprints has been successful.  He’s a horse that likes to finish second, and it would be no surprise to see him in the money here.

PP 7 TURN THE CROSS(IRE) (CAPE CROSS (IRE) x RUN THE GANTLET x TURN-TO) bred by peachman9 and trained by peachman3 (Ohio Stable’s, 9%) Odds: 9-1, Style: P

The doctor told his patient, “I have terrible news, Mr. Larson.  You have cancer and you have Alzheimer’s.”

“Well, Doctor, at least I don’t have cancer.”

Turn’s career began with a wonderful start.  He had three wins after a pair of seconds in his first five starts.  Liddleski had every reason to expect continued success in stakes, and in fact this colt has been close in all three of his stakes tries.  Just a little more improvement puts him right there with the top choices.  He was third against a so-so field here in Illinois on an off track before, so he might pick up a piece of the check anyway.

PP 8 ENCHANTERS ENDGAME(KY) (BADGE OF SILVER x STORM CAT x MR. PROSPECTOR) bred by bergfly and trained by alverton (Brundlefly Stables, 15%) Odds: 5-2*, Style: P

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of drinkers. I’ll give $500 to anyone who can drink ten pints of Guinness back-to-back.”  The room is quiet.  One man even leaves.  Thirty minutes later the man comes back and asks if the offer is still good.  The Texan says yes, and the bartender lines up ten pints of Guinness.  The Irishman tears into all ten pints, downing them back-to-back.  The Texan pays him the $500 and says, “If ya’ don’t mind me askin’, where did you go for that thirty minutes you were gone?”   “Oh,” replies the Irishman, “I went down the street to another pub to see if I could really do it.”

The favorite sits on the outside.  With seven wins and two seconds in nine starts, this is a colt that loves to win.  This is his first start in graded company after showing he can easily handle overnights.  Last time he tried a route for the first time, and he showed improvement.  There is every reason to think he loves the distance.  In a bit of irony, the fact that he has been a sprinter for his first eight races makes him only the second highest rated colt here at this distance, so he gets the number two Illinois jockey.  (Here comes the irony.)  This year, that jockey is running away with the Illinois jockey title.  As a word of caution, he’s never run on an off track, and his young sire has so far found very limited Sim success.

Conclusion.

One spring morning, Papa Mole decided to check out the sights and sounds of the new season.  He stuck his head out of the burrow and called to Mama Mole, “It is such a beautiful spring morning.  I hear birds singing and I smell…bacon…yes, someone is frying bacon!  It smells so good.”  Mama Mole said, “It is indeed a beautiful morning, and…why yes…I think I smell someone cooking pancakes! Come quickly, Baby Mole, you must experience these delectable sounds and smells!”  Baby Mole came to the burrow opening but could not squeeze past his parents.  Mama said, “Do you smell these delicious smells of breakfast, Baby?  Doesn’t is make you happy that spring is here and make you hungry?”  Baby Mole replied, somewhat disgruntled as he again tried to squeeze by his parents, “I wouldn’t know.  All I can smell is molasses!”

All joking aside, Enchanters Endgame and Northern Bay deserve their favoritism.  Let’s try to shake things up and go this way: The Stardust, Northern Bay, Enchanters Endgame.