Zooming into the Horse Olympics

Early last week, Dan sent out an email asking if I’d like to watch Equinics on a Zoom call. This sounded fun and would be a chance to see everyone again outside of social media so yesterday I dialed in and Dan (Given), Ryan (Lenny), Brian (PadreBri) and Robbie (Cadet) along with myself and settled in to watch the GR Simsters capture a 4th straight Equinics gold medal (Editor – please insert ominous foreshadowing music).

Dan was hosting and his war room consisted of a signed and framed Eric Lindros jersey. There was also a Wheat Barons or Wheat Dukes Provorov out of frame. I was settled into a Stephen King-inspired chair. Robbie was keeping a running tally of the points keeping everyone updated as the races progressed. It was my first time meeting Robbie and we hit it off well. Everyone looked pretty much the same on the call except Brian and I have a great deal more gray in our stubble than we did live viewing Equinics in Chicago many years ago. Incidentally, shaving wasn’t an option many of us embraced.

The day began with some good-natured joking over Dan’s 80 point GRS prediction (spoiler alert – they wouldn’t reach that number). GRS, URC, and ESR were all represented in this viewing party although I think everyone watching sort of assumed GRS was going to win. The races were staggered with two going off every 15 minutes. Perhaps 3 might be a better format as the event went over 3 hours as is but, honestly, in the time of COVID, what else were we going to do?

I didn’t keep track of a running Equinics diary, and really I should have considering how intense and unexpected the day unfolded. As such I’m going to throw out points of interest in a list format that took place over our 3 hours.

• The GRS would take an early lead but would then sit on that number (17 or 18) for a long time. URC was getting molly whopped for half the day with only 3 points. ESR was underperforming as well.
• Many big-time horses flopped. I don’t think that is particularly strange. Graded racing is major dartboard toss and since we were watching 30+ races in a row the full precarious nature of the contests were seen.
• Tied into this – there are not many more stomach punch feelings in the SIM than seeing your horse going backward at an accelerated pace than someone saying “Is your horse a closer?” And you answer, “No.” “Oh, maybe your horse got hurt?” “Yah…maybe”
• Dan’s wife coined my favorite phrase of the event calling them the Horse Olympics. She also stated our quorum watching them was the saddest thing she’s ever seen. Perhaps, but I’ll take my gold all the same!
• Said gold came from the effervescent Third Bride. I’ve already spoken at length on her so I won’t pontificate further other than to shout Huzzah!! And I’m glad I was able to share the event with everyone. It was certainly one of the highlights of the day for me. Before the race, Robbie asked me if I would feel joy or relief over a win (sort of a Kill Bill throwback). I said relief but after the viewing I was wrong, it was certainly joy. Pure unbridled joy. Thank you, Third Bride!
• And a shout out to Mother of Dragons, the dam of 3 Equinics winners now! This led to an amusing research segment where Ryan and Dan measured tripods over historic broodmares. Robbie settled it giving Mother of Dragons the edge and placing her as the third-best broodmare in the SIM. Yo Bo (who had another Equinics winner as well yesterday) took the top spot.
• Dan pointed out that Robbie used his War Front Mother of Dragons to breed with Posse and Kantharos. He wasn’t amused. Allegedly, she’s booked to More Than Ready in 2021.
• Reese made an appearance in a stylish dinosaur onesie. A future SIM trainer experiencing his first Horse Olympics!
• Everyone got a quick briefing on speculative logging.
• Famous last words from our host, “Hoosier racing isn’t going to hold on.”
• At some point, I forget which race, but a GRS favorite went down without points and seeing Dan’s face on the Zoom call – that was the first time he thought they might not win.
• The event got incredibly close with about 8 races to go. Something like 8 residencies had a chance to win it all. For a virtual event, this created some intense viewing. With four races to go, all the GRS hopes were down to Ryan’s last four runners.
• Hoosiers were in the proverbial clubhouse with their 31 and after Ryan’s Bleakwater came storming to the front in an impressive win the whole thing came down to the Equinics Classic at 10. With a 1st or 2nd from Daggers, GRS would win it in spectacular come from behind fashion. However, it was not meant to be as he missed the board.
• Thus ended a rather thrilling Equincs. And while quotes like, “They can’t take the Oaks away from me” and “After this call, I’m gonna be pissed at the SIM for 2 months” were heard, everyone had a great time. It always amazes me how grown men (and women) can get so attached to these CPU generated horses. We all know it’s silly, and yet it pulls us in every single time amplified a hundred-fold in moments like this. Competition and camaraderie enhance the experience immeasurably. The SIM would not exist without the community and the community would not exist without the SIM. In that regard, the collective Dasein we all share is virtually impossible to replicate. It has grown, organically through dozens of events like this over years and generations of horses. It’s rather magical to witness.
• Congrats to Hoosier Racing – thank you to Dan for getting us all together and thanks to Mike for the SIM that gives us so much joy, relief, and heartbreak. See you all again in 2 years for another Equinics which has already been tagged – The Empire Strikes Back.