DelPenn Invades Kentucky

A formidable contingent of  DelPenn trained horses entered into Saturday’s 8^th Annual Simulated Sports Breeders Bowl arrived safely into Kentucky early this morning on a Tex Sutton Transport charter.  They arrived in Louisville without incident.

It was however quite the scene earlier this morning up at Delaware Downs just before daylight.  Arriving at the Trainer’s entrance I saw several of the Delaware trainers at the gate.  They were having a protest.  Well, as best as they could protest anyway.  They were sitting in lawn chairs at the gate holding up posters that said “Unfair” and “Boycott”.

It was dejavu all over again to the great protest of the 2002 Equinics. Not that it was really a protest back then, just a stance on principle or something to that effect. Geezz, I wondered what the heck are they protesting now about?

Out of the corner of my eye I caught several of the misfits and malcontents taking slugs off a 1.75 liter of Crown Royal.  I glanced at my watch and it was only 6:30am with the “Fall Back” of time.  I thought to myself, do these guys ever give the bottle a rest?

One thing that was noticeably missing was the trainers that would actually be sending horses to the Breeders Bowl.  I could see that Rev was getting anxious about this whole scene being played out on the hallowed ground of Delaware Downs.

Well, sure enough about 5 minutes later, SDMF comes roaring up in this 78’ Trans Am with speakers blaring to some Rock and Roll music.  I thought good god it’s only 6:45am!  Out steps this buff dude in a tank top flashing his muscles for all his fans.  Well fans might be an over exaggeration, it was just the toothless night security guard on the backstretch.  She’s certainly quite a looker if you know what I mean? J  She was shouting “I love you SDMF!” I even think she threw him her panties or something to that effect?

Next I see a brand new Escalade rolling slowly up the entrance driveway; the whole vehicle was thumping to “Ridin Dirty”. Out popped AFC who looked fairly tired after doing what I was told 60 surgeries the past week.  His step was a little slower this year with the Super contingent string of horses and the possible exclusion of Devil’s Slide from the F/M Turf Distaff.  AFC waved at his fans, they waved back….some joker was talking to him about the “Kashmir Hex”, whatever that is?

Out of the passenger’s seat of the Escalade came Whirlwind, he was finishing off a blunt to get his day started.  Whirlwind shouted “Man, we rollin on 20’s up in this joint, ya hear?”  Whirlwind is the engineer behind Super, since he does the entries about 90-95% of the time, so I’m told.  He’s the one responsible for the nice Super claims you see from week to week out there in Simland!  Whirlwind is a pedigree guru in real life, so give him a shout if you ever have any questions or want his thoughts.

Next to arrive was Jakematt of the “Barb” horse’s fame.  Barb is a stunning looker if you’ve ever seen her, so she gets a lot of horse’s names after her in Simland.  Jack has some powerful horses residing in his barns.  He’s known to throw a few claim bones out there from time to time, so be on the lookout.

I was curious to where Topicount was?  I was told that she lived in Louisville and preparing all the arrangements for dinners/parties for the upcoming week.  Somehow, she’s trusted these guys to get her horses to Louisville?  I was wondering to myself, she trusts these clowns?

Next up, a huge stretch limo slowly worked its way up to the entrance, this was some fancy stuff going on.  They even rolled out a red carpet; well at Delpenn it’s called indoor/outdoor carpeting.  As the limo came to a halt, 2 security guys emerged from the limo to give the “all clear”.  Fats stepped out of the limo and waved to his adoring throng of fans; although it’s rumored some might be minors?  AFC and Whirlwind immediately went up to Fats to shake his hand.  I could overhear them offering their condolences of the recent passing of some family members.

Last, but not least, Theavenger rolled up in his pickup.  Theavenger had a hard night of drinking and quite a long drive in from Oklahoma, but looked none the wearier.   Theavenger, not to be confused with the pseudonym Topavenger, who someone was using on the Delpenn board, is a true scholarly and gentlemen. One of the funniest men to ever play the SIM, he’ll keep you amused and entertained, along with educated about worldly things.  Theavenger has his 1^st Breeders Bowl starter in Kevorkian Avenger.

Stretch as customary, was decked out as he usually is in his cowboy boots, blue jeans, bomber jacket, sunglasses, along with his 10X Silver Belly Beaver felt cowboy hat.  Stretch, told the crew he had bigger fish to fry in Queensland this week, so he wouldn’t be making the journey to Kentucky, but he wished the group well and gave Theavenger a good luck charm.

Knightmare, Absolut, Raider, Morrissey, Manowar, Winterheart, Husker and the rest of the crew gave them handshakes and hugs as the motley crew assemble for their adventure in Kentucky.

Revelation and Techranger lead them in prayer prior to their departure.  Good Lord knows they’ll need it; hopefully they won’t get thrown in jail this week in Louisville.

And a warning from the DelPenn trainers to all the other Breeders Bowl entries:

“We Live Hard, We Love Hard, and We Race Hard”

ALL HAIL DELPENN!

2006 DelPenn Breeders Bowl Entry’s

SDMF- Swift Kick(Distaff), Hard to Handle(Sprint), Digging the Grave( Turf Sprint)

Super Syndicate- Virtuoso(Classic), Rhibus(Classic), Whip Smart(Distaff), Psychotic Gold( Juvy Dirt)

Fats- Horseshoe Bay(Turf Classic), Hail Cesario(Mile), Shadow Creek(Juvy Turf),Rio Secco(Juvy Dirt), VY The Quarterback(Juvy Filly Turf)

Theavenger- Kevorkian Avenger(Juvy Filly Turf)

Afc- Devil’s Slide( A/E F/M Turf) plus the Super horses

Topicount- Seeking Sal(Mile), Swingshift Sal(Turf Classic)