Idol Gossip Surrounds Grade III Florida Turf
Welcome, one and all, to the auditions for the next Sim Racing Idol! This week, we’re in
The stage is the grass course, for the Grade III Florida Turf, a $150,000 stakes for turf specialists three-year-olds and up. The mile-and-three-sixteenths distance on firm turf is where the heartaches begin for the classic division on grass, as it’s approximately the spot where milers stretch to their limit, while the marathoners are just beginning to hit their stride. And while Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul are busy criticizing, namedropping, or mixing painkillers with tequila (or whatever Paula’s usually doing to produce her “insights”), and, oh, judging some unknown talent show for American TV this spring, here is what they are reported to have said to the contenders in this field of eleven. (Yes, they addressed the horses directly. Why do you think they call it Hollyweird?)
Equestrian Order [
Trainer: jakplummer
In the competition, he’d be: The singer who’s not sung in public in a while, but is primed for a comeback.
Randy: “Yo, dawg, what up? That last race in the New Oak was just a’ight for me, dawg. You never connected with the field, and was always behind everyone—this was not your best performance, man, but that’s OK, dawg, because you haven’t raced since then, and I’m thinkin’ you got hurt and needed to rest since November and…check this out, I used to work with Journey, and…”
Paula: “You usually come a long way, though, and that works well for you, making a late run at the leaders in the stretch, and you had other races last year that worked well for you, and raindrops and roses and whiskers on kittens, fuzzy puppy hello kitty…”
Simon: “I’m not going to patronize you, but your last race was really mediocre. I found it…kind of cabaret, really. And your speed figs aren’t as good as some of the others in here. This is a competition, and you’re going to have to shake off that rust and get back into it.
Analysis: He is making his belated ’06 debut here after a poor race to finish ’05. Lightly raced last year (five starts), this six-year-old was second in this race a year ago, closing strongly late. His figs pale lately in comparison to some of the others here, and while it’s likely his peak years may be in the rearview mirror, the long layoff makes him the freshest one in here by far. He’ll be in the mix in the stretch, if he’s close to the form he had here last year.
Redsadky [Red Ransom x Sadler’s Wells]
Trainer: sherwood
In the competition, he’d be: The favorite, the one that everyone’s chasing, and the one that came from complete obscurity to star on the main stage.
Randy: “Yo, dawg, this is my boy! We got another hot one here, dawg pound! Dude, whassup with that Equinics race? I’m a big fan of yours, but you tried to step it up and got hammered in
Paula: “I couldn’t agree more. You are a shining light, and you have been since you hit the stage last year at 3, with that second in the Big Red and the win in the Nijinsky, and I love little fuzzy pups, old pick-up trucks, cotton candy my little pony…”
Simon: “I’m not going to patronize you, but I have to agree with Randy. Y’know, you got a little off-track in
Analysis: Throw out the Equinics, as he was in over his head against the best milers in the Sim. He likes to be in stalker mode wherever he goes, and it works better when he stretches it out over nine furlongs or longer. In his eleventh start, he’s in the prime of his racing life right about now, and his numbers at 3 show that he should be ready to explode during the heart of the summer. He beat his elders at 3, and should be ready to revert to the form that helped him hit the board in every start except for the Equinics race.
Grimnosh [Gold Legend x Strawberry Road(AUS)]
Trainer: knightmare
In the competition, he’d be: The rising star who transforms himself from his humble beginnings into a rising showman.
Randy: “Yo, dawg, check this out. You like to set the pace, man, and it’s cool. You started out in the Grade II Boogity Bear very fast, all alone on the lead, and you were hitting all the right notes, and you had a great run up until the end, then you got a little off-key and finished second. But you got skillz, dawg, don’t he, dawg pound? And that wire job two back in allowance company? That was awesome, man, very impressive. I haven’t seen a show like that since I was working with Mariah Carey and…”
Paula: “Randy is right, you are such a star, and the great thing about you is that you got moxie. You act like you’ve been doing this for a couple of years, and even when you get caught you still act like a shining star, and you light up my life, you give me hope, cocoa bunny slippers daisies…”
Simon: “I’m not going to patronize you, but Randy’s right, your tendency to go to the front sets you apart from the pack. It might not work out all the time, but that allowance two races ago proved that you have what it takes. You have that ‘X’ factor.”
Analysis: If there’s a horse rounding back into form, it’s this fleet-footed vet, whose 104 last out was his best fig in over a year. Even if he got collared in the Boogity Bear last out, as the main source of speed in most of his distance tests, he keeps himself in the game for a piece of the action at the end. Bad news here is that he won’t get a moment’s peace on the front end, as he’ll have a lot of company keeping the pressure on. He’s faster than most of these, but can that speed hold out for the full mile-and-three-sixteenths?
Templemore(
Trainer: gene
In the competition, he’d be: The long shot no one would have thought of as a star, yet he’s managing to hold his own.
Randy: “Yo, dawg, check it. I’ve always liked you, I think you got spirit and spunk and yo, man, I think you can hit it, and you will over time. But I gotta be honest, man, you need a better race than the Grade I Crock Of Gold last out. You picked an ambitious spot, and you needed to bring it, and I’m not sure you did, dawg. I know you like to come from behind, but your late run hasn’t been doing it’s thing, yo. So, I think you could work on that a little bit more. But you’re young, a four-year-old with thirteen starts,and you’ll grow into this competition. Be patient, as I told my dawgs in *N’
Paula: “I really like your breeding, and I think you’re an old soul in such a young body. Randy hit it, you’ll grow and flourish in time, just be patient. I think you’ll learn a lot by doing this that we’ve only just begun, to live, white lace and promises, sunshine, lollipops and rainbows…”
Simon: “Is she high? I don’t mean to patronize you, but you haven’t won in a year and you’re still eligible for a NW3x, and your figs aren’t anywhere near the best of these. You’re going to simply have to perform better than that. And the Crock Of Gold? Simply mediocre. If I were you, I’d consider the dirt for future plans.”
Analysis: A well-bred colt, this four-year-old has found the going much harder than anticipated versus graded foes. His figs haven’t quite managed to break 100 yet, and his running style, closing from well out of it, has come up lacking lately. That said, there’s an upside. Though the numbers are lacking at present, and he’s been struggling to make inroads versus a high level of competition, he hasn’t tried the dirt yet. And the Sim conventional wisdom is that, if your charge hasn’t made good on his potential, you should try the road not taken. He appears to be up against it here, but a surface switch holds the serious potential to turn him into a serious contender.
Comrade Bbor [Soviet Star x Manila]
Trainer: bbor5
In the competition, he’d be: The versatile contender full of surprises from moment to moment.
Randy: “Yo, dawg, check it out, man. I didn’t care for that Boogity Bear last out for you, dawg. For me it was just a’ight, and I know you can hit it better than that. Ever since I first saw you, I knew you were a risk taker. You went from being the main speed in sprints, yo, to stretching it out, and when you first did that, I was like, “I dunno, man, I dunno.” And then you nailed it a few times, and I was like, “Wow, dawg”, and that you did it showed that you could step out of your comfort zone. I appreciate that, man, I do, like I told Beyoncé and the Destiny’s Child girls years ago, and…”
Paula: “I think people are going to see you go up against some of the best heavy hitters in the field, and they’re going to act like me, and be proud that we got to know you when you were just coming up. You have a lot of speed and you could sprint, and you could go long, and you can do it all, straight up, now tell me, a buh buh buh bah, buh buh buh buh bah…”
Simon: “I have to say, I completely agree with Paula.”
Randy: “Yo, dawg, really?”
Paula: “Forever your girl?”
Simon: “No, not really. I don’t mean to patronize you, but you have all the pieces here, but you haven’t had…A Moment. You need to give it your best every time, and not like that Boogity Bear mess last out, when you just gave a karaoke performance.”
Paula: “Cold hearted snake.”
Analysis: There’s a bit of speed here, as this five-year-old has been able to win at distances ranging from six furlongs to this distance on the front end of things. The Boogity Bear didn’t pan out, as he couldn’t get a toehold on the lead alone and just faded late while rising in class. This race on paper doesn’t figure to be too much different, with a lot of early pressure to the expected pace scenario. The numbers aren’t quite as mind-blowing in routes as they have been while sprinting, but one shouldn’t underestimate this speedball’s abilities at this distance. With a little luck, particularly if he rates and the speed pressure doesn’t materialize, he could be a live one in the stretch run.
Horde Run A Foul(
Trainer: pickindim
In the competition, he’d be: The unpredictable one with a surprising level of consistency.
Randy: “Yo, dawg, wassup? You keep comin’ out, giving your all, and you keep surprising everyone with just how far you’ve come. This year, there was a bit of a spark missing, and it looked like you were done, man. Then you came out and just nailed a solid performance. I was wondering where the old Horde Run A Foul(
Paula: “You’ve been such a steady and true contender for so long, what I like best about you is that you never compromise who you are. You’re constantly coming out of the gate, and staking out your position near the front of each race, and you don’t change from that tactic, and it works so well for you. That last race might not show it, but you’re coming back into form, and you never change, don’t go changing to try and please me, poo poo pa doo…”
Simon: (*sighs*) “I don’t mean to patronize you, but I’m just being honest. I don’t see a lot of improvement in your numbers and I don’t quite understand the ravings of the lunatics beside me. You’re fast, to be sure, you like to stay close early, and you’ve been a factor in a lot of your starts, but for me recently these have been ‘So what?’ performances.”
Analysis: He’s certainly been consistent with his tactics, if not his form; he’s been leading or stalking each time out, and it’s held up versus allowance foes and lower-level stakes company more frequently lately than it has versus stakes-level competition. He faded to seventh two back in Nevada, was sixth in her ’06 debut in a Grade III, and was seventh in the Grade I Eclipse at the tail end of ’05. Going to the front paid off more in listed stakes last year, but the allowance start last out showed a solid return to the form that got him to this point. Thing is, there’s a lot of early pressure here, and some stronger challengers therein, and this colt’s numbers don’t hold the same allure as they did in last March’s Grade III win (a 116 fig). Does he have it in him to come back to the form of last spring? This test will be important.
New Storm [Storm Cat x Nureyev]
Trainer: coolerk
In the competition, he’d be: The pedigreed rock star with voice, looks and style, and a lot of swagger.
Randy: “Yo, dawg, you always know how to turn it out. Every time out, it’s something different, but you usually end up going the distance and rockin’ out, yo…I think we got another hot one here, dawg pound, what you say? Last out in the Little Guppy wasn’t quite your best, but you rocked the Equinics three back and came from well out of it to sweep by them all late. That was an awesome performance, man, and you need to keep bringin’ it every time, and you’ll just rock, man, and it was like I was tellin’ my boy Elton John, and…”
Paula: “You just are blessed with that kind of star quality that we see in superstars. You know what it takes to please the crowd, and even if sometimes you don’t win, like last out, you did win the North Abdul two back, and you’re an Equinics champ, and you’re just gonna be a star someday, and de do do do, de da da da, Barbie Ken fluffy-wuffy Smurf…”
Simon: “I don’t want to patronize you, I like you, but your last was a bit…self-indulgent. You haven’t shown me a different side of you, and you are talented and consistent, and very professional, but I’d like to see something more from you, something different.”
Analysis: His stock keeps climbing, particularly after his runaway Equinics win, all the way up to #4 in the division, and that big win in Italy three back established him as the one to watch in the turf division as a four-year-old. Last out he tried to do too much from too far back, and could only manage third, beaten almost ten lengths by Sunnybank Memorial over a good course in the Grade I Little Guppy. He works best from well off the pace, but the tactics have worked better at shorter routes, such as this distance. He’s back in his element here, with a lot of swift pace expected early, priming him for a strong stretch run. This is a fine spot, away from the main spotlight in the Dr. Reuben Garr and all the top middle-distance grass horses clashing in New York, for him to shine.
Monkidle [Turkoman-A Splash Of Turf, by Theatrical(
Trainer: socalsipe
In the competition, he’d be: the veteran performer overshadowed by the brightness of the spotlight on others.
Randy: “Yo, dawg, I know you’ve been at this a long time, but lately I haven’t seen you shine. You haven’t looked comfortable compared to some of the other stars, man, and you need to find something that works for you, get back to basics, dawg, and maybe we’ll see a different side to what you can do. You have speed, man, but it’s always seemed overshadowed by something else. You have the potential—we saw it two back in Kentucky, dawg—all you need to do is just shine, like I saw Elton John do, and…”
Paula: “I think you’re a winner, no matter what. You keep doing what you do so well, and you make people smile with your energy and your inner light. You like to be up front, but someone beats you to the lead, and so you just wait for your time to shine. I think you can shine again, and babble burble gurble Gerber babies blah blah blahblah…”
Simon: “I don’t want to patronize you, you know, I think you’re pretty talented, but I think others are better than you and you need to come out and make this race your own.”
Analysis: There are flashes of tactical speed to be found here, but up until recently he hasn’t returned his game to a high level; in the Grade I Saturday Night Special two back, his front-end patience paid off briefly, as he led for about a sixteenth of a mile at the top of the stretch before fading to third. It’s that kind of performance that shows there’s some gas left in the tank, and that a little pace patience can still be useful for this horse. He’s been graded-placed four times in his career, and his numbers haven’t risen into the mid-100s at this level since last November. The distance doesn’t hurt him, but he needs to have a lot more success at rating for this route than he’s had recently.
Smoking Sal [Danzig-Miss High, by Seattle Slew]
Trainer: tom
In the competition, he’d be: The defiant veteran powerhouse, taking on all challengers, and taking little crap from anyone.
Randy: “Yo, dawg, so check this out…for a long time, we haven’t seen you perform at your best with these, and you’ve been good, but not awesome. Lately, though, you’ve been coming alive and taking us by surprise, and I think we got another hot one, dawg pound! You’ve won twice in four starts this year, and for a veteran your age, you’ve sure been schooling the youngsters on what you need to do so far this year. You’re just like this guy I played with once, Bruce Springsteen, and…”
Paula: “You are proving that age isn’t anything but a number, and that even at 7 you can still run like you were at 3. Your numbers are back into the 100s, and you’re always a threat to do great things from the back of the field in a race, and Kajagoogoo shy shy, hush hush, eye to eye…”
Simon: “I don’t want to patronize you, really, but you are getting old. Look, you have had a long and somewhat successful career, but up until recently you haven’t done too much. You’re coming back around, but then, so is Big Brother. You’re going to have to keep raising your game to its highest level.”
Analysis: The wily veteran has returned to his best form, with two wins in four starts this year thus far, and is a long nose away from being 3-for-4 in ’06. The level of competition hasn’t been as good as it was a few years ago, when he was graded-placed three times, but he’s beginning to come to life again at 7. He’ll be sitting in mid-pack hoping to make a solid late run, but it’s been since June 2003 since he’s faced graded opposition, and though his form versus listed stakes-level foes has been resurrected, and his figs are modestly competitive, he’s going to have to rely on racing luck and the return of some more of that ol’ black magic to improve his fortunes enough to contend with the favorites at their best.
Samyn On the Green [Johannesburg x Caerleon]
Trainer: ufslfarms
In the competition, he’d be: The precocious, plucky and resourceful performer who plays to the crowd.
Randy: “Yo, dawg, y’know, you’ve always been fast out of the gate. You were like that at 2, dude, and you haven’t changed over time, and you love being in front and taking control of things. You haven’t been really as bold as some of the others, man, but y’know, dawg, I think you got some skillz, and you’re growing into a fine and steady performer, and you just gotta keep bringin’ it night after night, just like my girl Celine Dion, and…”
Paula: “Such a fine talent, at such a young age. I think you are a real free spirit, and watching you grow up, it brings to mind so many of the talented young performers around, and here you are, looking every bit as good now as you were at 2, and doodle doodle dee, wubba wubba wubba…”
Simon: “I don’t want to patronize you, but you’re not 2 anymore. You’re very flashy out of the gate, but I keep waiting for the substance, and I think it’s ridiculous.”
Analysis: First up, lovin’ the name (for the nickname of New York-based jockey Jean-Luc Samyn, and his ability to bring winners home on the grass). This Grade I-placed colt had a strong career at 2, when he faded to second after leading the Grade I Knick-Knack Juvenile for most of the way, and…well, that seems to have been his peak, as since then, he’s been bedeviled by growing pains during his sophomore campaign. He has been showing the same tactical early speed throughout his career, but since the near-miss as a juvenile, he’s been steering clear of the limelight until this season. He’s the main threat to the main speed, and could sit very close to the action in the opening furlongs, but his speed hasn’t carried longer than a mile-and-a-sixteenth, and he’ll need more in reserve if he hopes to keep pace with these. He could be very good at 4, but time will tell, and it might not be time yet.
Eternity(
Trainer: blackirish
In the competition, he’d be: The consistent, earnest one who is taking his time to warm up to the spectacle.
Randy: “Yo, dawg, wassup? Now, I like you, and I think there’s some untapped potential here, ‘cause you wouldn’t be here if we didn’t see something goin’ on here. Dawg, the last few tries haven’t been your best performances, and I keep waiting to see something special, and, dude, y’know, I’m not feelin’ it yet. You gotta be prepared and go for it every not, and don’t give up until you’re satisfied, like I heard from my boy Richard Marx, and…”
Paula: “There is such an inner glow inside of you waiting to come out, and…I just don’t see you connecting in your performance, and I know you keep trying, but we need to see what makes you you, and I look forward to the new and exciting performances to come, and bippity boppety boo, doorbells and sleighbells and schnitzel with noodles…”
Simon: “Look, I really don’t mean to patronize you, I like you, y’know, but this is a competition, and I would say right now you’re just very, very average, and you need to get better in a hurry.”
Analysis: In nineteen career starts, there’s only been one start in which this colt hasn’t earned a paycheck, and that was his final start of 2005, the Pennsylvania Handicap on DelPenn’s Champions Day. The colt should be involved from the get-go, as he’s most successful when sitting just off the early leaders, and waiting. His numbers, though, have tailed off since a fourth in last fall’s Grade I Coxless, and have fallen back into the 80s and 90s so far this year. This wouldn’t be troublesome if he was an allowance horse or a high-level claimer, but this is a stakes winner who’s been putting together some solid if unspectacular results in his career, and he’s been doing better in allowances of late. The outside post might not help matters much, either.
The selections:
- Redsadky
- New Storm
- Comrade Bbor
- Grimnosh
- Samyn On The Green
Good luck to all, thank you to our special guests for their…um, unique contributions, and happy racing to all.