Black Type Bugler

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Black Type Bugler

eHorseracing.com’s Official Online News Source

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‘Twas the Night Before Christmas 2012 Edition

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas 2012 Edition
By: MTK & Cadet

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the game
Not a horse was at the farm, none had come up lame
The 2013 breedings were planned with precision and care;
In hopes that a graded winner soon would be there;

The sim addicts, chat bots and lurkers all nestled snug in their beds,
While visions of 2 yr old Frankels danced in their heads;
Pete with his gin, and Skunk with his Gimlet,
1000 credit dud Medaglia D’oro’s had Frank feeling snake bit.

When out on the track arose such a clatter,
That even hammered MTK awoke to see the matter.
Lenny was still trying clickfest causing the sim to crash
While good ole ST BILLGULCH got it restored in a flash.

The message boards awoke with a lot of claiming hissing
Monte’s whole cheap string was bought and now missing
Debate ensued and accusations were made.
Within the rules but from sim ettiquette they strayed.

Now a middle age driver, with several young tykes
We knew it was ST BILLGULCH otherwise known as Mike.
Like the Call to the Races his horses they came,
And he whistled, and shouted and called them by name

Now, Balata ! now, Given! hey CADET and padre!
On, Dixie! now Donny, ACE, squirrel and gowans.
At the top of the lane they all changed their leads
St Bill Gulch was now ready with handfulls of stratch breeds.

Pulling hard to the left, ST BILLGULCH gave a sigh
As DAVARTO and Emmy offstride careened by
So up on the roof top the horses they flew
With the sleigh full of sire shares and ST BILLGULCH too.

And then as a clanking was heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each simulated hoof.
As I looked at the scratch sheet and was turning around,
Down from the Stewards room ST. BILLGULCH came with a bound.

He was dressed all in old forms from his head to his hat,
And unanswered e-mails stuffed in his sack.
With a bundle of programs, a brown bag he had a tight grip,
He started to stagger and slur like Dr. Dipper lip.

His eyes now glassy but the new sim has arrived
We made it past apocalypse so now the game can thrive.
His wake was crowded with touts in the know
With knightmare and dragnil and oldtimer TANICO

The chewed up end of a stylus he held tight in jest,
Happy that Redhill and Testbarn created sim-wide contests.
Major credits galore were won without doubt
Big thanks to newbie Drhet for helping out.

He was chubby and plump, like a retired old jock
And resembled a pauper who was just out of hock.
With a wink of his eye and a slap of his knee
He added, subtracted and cackled with glee.

He spoke not a word but kept straight at his work,
Erasing and writing he then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose he skedaddles,
Went straight to the teller to Equinics bet on Blazing Saddles.

Since the new breeding system is working with ease
St. Bill Gulch can relax, and enjoy, the players appeased
With the New Sim in place, and now facebook inclusion
Social media is hot but Delpenn suspect government intrusion.

Now back to the rooftop, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all went as fast as a NY bred Golden Missile.
I heard him exclaim, then he drove out of sight,
Happy simming to all and TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.

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