Governor of the Sim State of New York has Plan to Address Coronavirus with Sim Horses

The BTB has covered governmental conflict in the state of New York for quite some time, dating back to 2012 when the Upstate NY Track was shuttered (this actually happened in Derby Fever as it converted to the new format we currently play as the number of race tracks were reduced, including one in Upstate New York).   The article that covered this catastrophe and corruption was written back in 2012 and has long been lost from the archives.  However, other articles still exist and are identified below (these are not links).

Upstate NY Track Closing-2 Years Later   11/9/14

Woes Continue at Former NY Raceway   6/9/15

Upstate NY Racetrack Saga Continues    11/11/15

FBI Releases Results of Upstate New York Racetrack Investigation    7/6/16

Upstate New York Racetrack Focus of Upcoming Governor Election   9/12/18

To give a rough reference to what transpired, the Upstate NY racetrack was sold and the owner turned out to be the Governor’s under aged daughter.  The track was ripped apart and a building was constructed in which the Governor moved into, with high costs (paid by NY State taxpayers) with connections to the Governor winning the construction contracts.  Then, in 2018, an election year, the property was promised to be converted back into a racetrack.  

Now to the current day.   In 2018, Governor Bribeme was successful in taking the Governor’s position, but by a very slim margin.   The housing complex was torn down and a new track is currently in the process of being built.   A cousin to the Governor was very fortunate to have the winning bid of $50 million to tear down the structure and $500 million to rebuild the racetrack.   Over a billion dollars will be spent in tearing down the old track, building a home, tearing the home down and building a racetrack.  Complete circle.

So here we sit with the Coronavirus scaring the hell out of the sim world.  But rest assured, the Governor of the sim state of New York has a solution.  At a recent press conference he stated “The Coronavirus is very serious.   I will not be taking a cold shoulder and ignoring the risk and impact that it has, specifically to the sim-horse racing world.   As many of you know, my daughter Caroline Bribeme has recently graduated college and has become a veterinarian.   We must protect the sim horses of the world.   I am taking executive action and have appointed my daughter as the head veterinarian and she will be headquartered at the Upstate New York Racetrack, which is nearly 50% complete in construction.   As part of my action, I have approved up to $250 million to rebuild the racetrack into a horse hospital and the contract will be awarded to JEREMY BRIBEME CONSTRUCTION CORP.  They are very familiar with the facility and are working on the rebuilding of the track.  It makes perfect logical sense to give them the contract as they already have a construction crew on the premises”. 

Governor Bribeme then displayed blueprints of what the facility will look like.  “I have no doubt that this will be the top facility in the country….let me correct that, this will be the top facility in the world that all of the top horses will be directed to should the ycontract the Coronavirus.   There will be isolation units set up and protective gear will be utilized.   My daughter will be in charge and I know she is already in contact with some of the top simulated equine doctors in the world.   We want the best.  To get the best, we will be paying top dollar, at least a million to each doctor as well as a bag full of BP’s to entice the equine docs to sign on. 

The Governor continued “The Coronavirus situation is a scary one, especially for those who love simulated horseracing and the horsemen and jockeys.   We want this sport to thrive.  We are the only government in the simulated world that will have a medical facility dedicated to the protection of our simulated horses.   New York has the finest racing and we need to insure the safety of racing.   After this dreadful disease is gone, we will revert back to our original plans of rebuilding the racetrack in Upstate New York.”

The press conference was well covered by the media as displayed by the surplus of microphones.

The governor opened the floor to questions.   The Daily Newspaper asked “How soon can the facility be built?” to which Governor Bribeme replied “We are asking Jeremy Bribeme Construction Corp to direct all resourced immediately to the construction of the building.  We have built into the contract assurances that any overages will be paid, so the final cost may exceed the $250 million.  We want this facility built quickly and I have taken executive privileges to waive any and all inspections and regulations related to building the Horse Hospital as this sort of red tape will only slow down progress.  Next question”.

Many hands went up and a representative from the New York Toast was selected and asked “Can you tell us, Governor, what colors will the rooms be painted?   As we all know, nice warm colors can go far into presenting sim-horses with a relaxed environment to recover.”   The Governor replied “You know, we never gave that serious thought.   I will higher my wife, who is an interior decorator, to look into this and get back with suggestions in a week.  Very good question.  Next.”

The Governor pointed out to the press, picked one at random and it was me, from the BTB!  I stood up and the Governor could be heard through his microphone, in a low tone voice “hell, who let him in”.   There was a light chuckle in the room but that did not deter me.  “Governor, your office continues to throw millions on top of millions of ripping the Upstate New York Racetrack apart and then funnel more money to put structures up only to rip those down.   It seems that this will continue.   I have a few questions.   First, will this needless spending end and when?   Second, there has been no report of any simulated horses contracting the Coronavirus, so why are we building a hospital?  Third, your daughter has no experience in the field as a veterinarian other than getting a questionable 4-year bachelors degree while attending Madame Mardella’s School of Flight over a three month period.  Why are you selecting an inexperience individual to take this job on, other than to piss away more of the taxpayers money?”

The Governor looked over his shoulder, spoke to some security personnel and before you knew it, I was a target.  Chaos arose and I was escorted out of the room.

As I left, the Governor stepped to the microphone and said “I truly would like to have the opportunity to answer those questions.  Unfortunately, our time is up and I have a simulated state to run”.

The officers took me to their car and drove me back to the offices of the BTB.  No charges were made and the officers both agreed and said “We saw no crime committed.  And thank you for pressing the issue with the Governor“.   They shook my hand and drove off into the sunset.

There are no cases of Coronavirus with our beloved sim-horses that we enjoy racing.  While the Kentucky Derby may not happen in May, the Bluegrass Derby is still planned to run as long as all operating systems and internets work.

This article follows a multi-year long sporadic coverage of the Upstate New York defunct racetrack and has been done in fun.  In all seriousness, the Coronavirus does interrupt our lifestyles on a worldwide basis.  From the BTB, we share our best wishes to those that participate in Derby Fever that have (or had) the virus or have family, friends, co-workers or others that may be impacted by the virus, for a quick recovery.

Times are tough and will be for a while.  Everyone be safe, follow protocals to stay safe and don’t panic.  We will get through these tough times if we stay united and focused.  The world has done it before and can do it again!

6 thoughts on “Governor of the Sim State of New York has Plan to Address Coronavirus with Sim Horses

  • March 24, 2020 at 1:23 am
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    Thank God the Bluegrass Derby is not being postponed.
    Churchill Downs should take note.

    • March 24, 2020 at 11:08 am
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      Take note of what? That we are playing a simulated game that is all run by computers,?

      Really seems as though you are being completely obnoxious.

      Nice Article which gave me a good laugh, which is I believe it’s intended target here.

      Completely off the wall, and thanks to roxy for writing up something to keep it light in here. Good to see some have a sense of Haha!!

      • March 24, 2020 at 5:03 pm
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        Mcallister…the article is done in fun and a poke at the political environment that exists around the world. New York just happens to be the chosen simulated-target. Times like we live in, it’s good to have a laugh now and then.

        • March 25, 2020 at 4:09 am
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          My reply was to Matrepok. I was all good with the article and took it as such, thanks for the Laugh.

    • March 24, 2020 at 5:04 pm
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      Good point, Matrepok….Churchill should take note. And maybe even open up live betting on our simulated race!

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