Comedy Central At It Again With Clones, But With A Twist!
The Clone Races are back, this time with a twist. For those race fans that have been following the antics of the residents at Comedy Central, you are all too aware of their past history. For more than a year, they have been breeding clones. Exactly what is a clone? They are horses with exactly the same breeding. These horses were all bred with the same age. Comedy Central then targets a race track that is desperate for some of that valuable sim money and will sponsor a race for their members. I still question the authenticity of the money they actually use in payment. I thought I saw crayon drawings on some of their currency.
Anyways, after securing the race, the residents all entered their horses that have never raced just to see what would happen. After doing some superior investigative work, and even going undercover within the Comedy Central confines, I discovered that they were trying to crash our game system. That’s right…bring it down!!! Their ultimate goal…just for a nice, long and hardy laugh. There past attempts have all failed.
Heck, they even tried spreading a virus to infect all the horses on the racing circuit one time, which your truly uncovered and reported upon. Luckily, I had a horse in that race which I quarantined. This action brought me a winner and my article (which I think will win a major award this year) prevented the spread of this hideous virus. Comedy Central did not get the last laugh that time.
Unfortunately, I had to vacate the confines of Comedy Central as the heat was on. I risked being detected and on more than one occasion, a red clown nose was tossed in my direction.
So that’s all in the past and now it’s time for another clone race, but this one has a twist. Instead of breeding the exact same blood line, they have opted to see what happens if they “sort of” breed the same blood line. This time all the entrants have the exact same Dam-Sire of Favorite Danzig and the DD-Sire of Secretariat’s Ghost. These two are out of the famous
Here is where the twist comes in, the trainers are free to choose their own Sire using the above two mentioned horses within the bloodlines. This idea seems harmless. Horses with exact same breeding could confuse and crash the system as they run in the same race. This is not happening this time. But there is a funny smell in the air and it’s coming from Comedy Central. The race is being held on Christmas Day and I’m sure there are some shenanigans going on as there are hidden clues within the horse names.
The race is an allowance race for 2 year olds at the
1. Better Than Indy 63-1 Trainer CMD5 thinks he has outsmarted his fellow jesters by using Fan the Flame as sire. Almost 90% of the races Fan’s children have been on the dirt, a strong liking to this surface. They generally prefer sprints over routes and have a rather low 6% stake race win percentage, which is much lower than other sires used in this race. I sense that the name of the horse depicts a grudge towards Indy Secret, who is tagged as the favorite in this race. But is there another meaning going on with the name? Probably.
2. Cloneliest Number 6-1 Curlin was the preferred sire for trainer Z6. Curlin started breeding horses last year and claims 7 graded winners out of the 2009 crop with 11 others collecting stake wins. 2010 crop has not been as blessed with only 2 stake winners thus far. If you take the letter “c” off the horses name, you end up with Loneliest Number. Think I’m on to something with that, but I have no idea what that might be????
3. Kamikaze Boltbus 33-1 A horse by the name of Grindstone is the sire for this race, one whom I’m not familiar with, but obviously trainer Stcshag is. Only one of Grindstone’s offspring has one a stakes race within the past 5 years. The offspring do have a strong attraction to the dirt and are pretty evenly split between sprints and routes. The name is pretty disturbing…Kamikaze is self suicide. Are the residents actually out to do themselves in??? Now that would be funny!
4. Aussie Pride 7-2 I have to admit that I have not heard of the sire named Encosta De Lago before today, which is used by trainer Simaddict. Over the past 5 years, this sire’s children have earned over $41 million in 7500+ races. The kids lean a bit to the dirt but sprint/routes are fairly even. 11.5% have won stake races, but that percentage is much lower over the past two years. I see nothing wrong with this horses name, nor do I see any subliminal meaning hidden within it. But I have to make another admission…I don’t speak Aussie.
5. Twist With Me 4-1 Trainer Redhill15 thinks that the Awesome Again sire will bring on a victory. The Awesome Again line loves the routes and leans towards dirt races. Nearly 18% over past 5 years have been stake winners. There is definitely a hidden message within this mare’s name. I think it is in clown code. Unfortunately, I lost my detector ring but I think it would mean something like “The track will melt”. Wish I cold find that darn ring!
6. Speightsclown 9-1 Speightstown won the honors of being the sire for trainer Unicorn. Speighstown has been around for a while and just under 10% of this sire’s bloodlines have gone on to win a stakes race. The offspring prefer the dirt but also tend to like distances under a mile. There have been many reader’s that have stopped me on the street that have read my past articles on the clone races and references I’ve made to the residents wearing clown outfits. Nobody seems to believe this is true. Look at the name of this horse. The clown comments are facts and this verifies it
7. Seacret Star 6-1 Trainer Squirrel4 has opted to use Sea The Stars as the sire. Sea The Stars is in the first year of siring and has already produced 3 grade winners and 7 other stake winners. Not bad, but most of the offspring find themselves preferring the turf and sprint races. I wouldn’t read too much into the sprints, as these are two year olds that need time to mature to get into the routes. Notice how the word “secret” is cleverly changed in the spelling of the horse’s name…what does this mean??? Or is it just another typo from the ill-educated group? Remember, their residents only read the comics section of the newspaper.
8.. Favorite Zapper 8-1 There is a message being sent with the name of this horse, which I will get to in a minute. Trainer Elevenzez1 went with Ghostzapper as the sire of this colt. Not a bad choice considering Ghostzapper’s little runts have won over $104 million over the past 5 years. They have nearly a 2-1 preference for dirt over grass and pretty evenly split between route and sprints. The name of Favorite Zapper may be a warning that the residents will be out zapping people at the track. Not to fear…they only have little guns with a blinking red light when they pull the triggers. They think these are hilarious and that people actually get scared. Don’t be fooled if one of these pranks are pulled on you at the track. Just shoot back at them with your finger. Most of the time those clowns will fall to the ground as if they were really hit. It’s actually a bit humorous.
9. I Am Not A Clone 11-1 When you first see this horses name, you gotta think it was made up just to throw you off. Not true. This is my horse. It states a fact, this little girl is not a clone. It may confuse some of the jesters at Comedy Central but I doubt they will even notice. I’ve chosen Forestry as my sire. Forestry horses are pretty evenly split between dirt & turf as well as sprints & routes. So if she doesn’t fare well in this race, I have plenty more options available in the future.
10. Indy Secret 3-1 Somewhat curious name, at least to me it is. Bred using A.P. Indy as the sire by trainer Rezboss. A.P. Indy bred horses have a history of doing well on the dirt and particularly in route distances. Now the Indy part of this colt’s name is easy to understand. The curious part I see is in the “Secret”. Is this really using part of Secretariat’s name, or is it implying that there is a secret unknown mission really going on?
Now I’ve done a little digging. If you take part of all the horses names in red below (except my horse), there is a message here. I had to add a few words to make it legible:
Top Seacret. Use Secret Kamikaze Zapper which will Twist and mangle other game players in huge Number. Clown Pride is Better than ever!
Sounds like a threat, but rest assured, nothing dangerous will occur this weekend. This will be a failed attempt, whatever their scheme may be.
Now Time to pick the horses, assuming that they all show up for the race.
1. Twist With Me gets the top spot. No particular reason except I like Awesome Again.
2. Favorite Zapper is choice number two only because I like the name.
3. I Am Not A Clone is my third selection because I have to be greedy and pick my own horse someplace in the top three.
As I end the article I want to wish everyone a safe and happy holiday season!!!!!