Keep Calm, Engelbert Humperdinck, And Just Name Something: What’s In A Name 2014

Whenever Dr. Dipper Lip himself isn’t in some sort of scotch-induced purple haze, he likes to joke with me that whenever I do my annual names article, I should feature a bunch of his horses.

Well, Doc, your self-medicated wait is over. For the list, if nothing else.

After being a fan of the Sport of Kings for 30 years—you all know the drill by now, but for newcomers—I had a theory that the more regal a horse’s name is, the more likely it was to be a success on the track. As a real-world example, I look at the Ogden Phipps stable. Historically, their successes have names that sound appropriate for their horses; to the manner born, as Shakespeare wrote. Meaning, “naturally suited to a given task or role” by interest or aptitude. And damn if a Phipps horse in the good ol’ days didn’t run to his name, as if he was named to be a success. Look at Easy Goer. Not just a fine horse, but a fine name that stemmed from a fine pedigree (Alydar-Relaxing, by Buckpasser). He was named to be something successful. Easy Goer, Orb, Buckpasser, My Flag, Inside Information, Bold Ruler, Lure, Seeking The Gold and, of course, Personal Ensign all followed a similar trail, with names that were both relevant, reasoned and classical. In short, they didn’t need a Tony the Pony-type name to muck things up.

In the last few years, semi-seriously, I’ve made a habit of studying the names available when I started racing my two-year-olds, to see just how creative and how successful we all were getting with the naming of our horses. I’ve tried myself to give the well-meant breedings a name of class and distinction, not all times with success. But I like to think I’ve done a fine job on my own terms with that. It doesn’t always pan out, for multiple reasons, but when I look at Tolleson, or Calloway, Bach or Bear Crossing (my current hot horses, which likely have cooled off by the time I post this), I can see that sometimes it pays off.

Thinking up a name is hard work, and it gets harder in the Sim because, unlike the Jockey Club, once you name a horse here, it’s for keeps. Mike doesn’t as yet recycle names, or release names back out to the Sim population to re-use, so once a most fitting name is taken, don’t expect to see it again, possibly ever. As the Sim’s grand tradition continues onward, we’re left to rely on an evolving lexicon for inspiration. In other words, every year, the thinking cap strains to come up with an ideal name with which to win. As society develops more of a vocabulary, like “selfie”, we’re left to count on it to help us out. (For the record, Selfie is taken, and not by me. At least, not in the Sim.)

My track record in these articles the last couple of years has been relatively dreadful. My eyes find great names and my brain formulates just how good they are and the horse hits the track and prove me OH SO WRONG.  But you need only refer to last year’s article, and down the list you will find one particular name that trumps every sucker decision I’ve ever made in these articles.

His name is Dragos. He won the California Derby last week, and should be one of, if not THE, favorite in the Bluegrass Derby. I had him near the bottom of the list of colts’ names, but it was in no particular order. As it turned out, he validated me in the same way he can validate Dixiedotco’s hopes in less than 3 weeks. (Ha, Dr, Dipper Lip!) Of the colts I featured last year, he was the only one to be even remotely close to the exceptional standard I was looking for. There were a bunch if good horses, but nothing else could reach that high bar.

The fillies from last year also failed to approach Dragos in quality, but in quantity they had it better than the colts. A number of them are quite decent in their own right, headed by Honorable Cause, who was a stakes winner last fall. A few others, like Frankly and Hippie Music, are stakes-placed and hold a lot of untapped potential. Overall, last year’s list had very few flat-out lemons. Only one horse was retired, and even the horses who remain maidens or were dropped in for claiming tags are fair in their abilities. If there are no other Dragos’s in this class, there are at least multiple winners here, even in the ones that are still winless.

With that look back and total ego trip on my part out of the way, here is this year’s list of well-named juveniles that, according to my thought process, may stand a chance at being named for fame. My rules are as follows:

My horses are ineligible, out of a sense of fairness. This isn’t bout me, per se, it’s about you guys. I might develop a late bloomer, but I’m biased (read: self-important).

One per sire. I want a fair mix wherever possible that isn’t skewed by one fancy name as the daddy.

They must be unraced as of this weekend. I don’t want to be tainted by a horse that’s already started, and won with conviction. Besides, tradition holds that the weekend before my two-year-olds debut is when I do my list. And my two-year-olds roll out this coming week; you’ve all been warned.

The name has to give off a sense of greatness that has come before it. If you can picture a stakes race in the real world of racing being named for a horse, that horse qualifies.

Only the Top 200 active juvenile sires are eligible.

15 colts, 15 fillies, no more, no less.

If you want to examine my past results, do a search in the BTB for, and I’m not kidding, “Engelbert Humperdinck”. That’s the only way in the new and screwy BTB archives that I could find previous years’ lists, in case I wanted to burn the evidence.

Without delay, here’s the list of Names To Watch in 2014:

ALWAYS IN MY HEART, c, Distorted Humor-Cuore E L’Anima, by Unbridled’s Song, bred by champorchump
FOOLISH ENDEAVOR, c, Street Cry x A.P. Indy, bred by cald1
SEEK MAGIC, c, Bernardini-Queen Amy, by Deputy Minister, bred by skipaway59
UNION BOSS, c, Scat Daddy-Darling Go Getter, by Dixie Union, bred by barba
TALE OF THE WEST, c, Tale of the Cat x Gone West, bred by hofman353
MALIBU MOJO, c, Malibu Moon x Unbridled’s Song, bred by gcliffo24
JITSU, c, Sea The Stars x Sadler’s Wells, bred by silversun
BONAVENTURA, c, Kitten’s Joy x Smart Strike, bred by gcliffo15
BATTLE OF JERICHO, c, Point Of Entry x El Prado, bred by willyam14
DRAMATIC IMPACT, c, Deep Impact-Mia’s Dream, by Danehill, bred by michaelo
VELVET HAZE, c, Oasis Dream-Red Skye, by Dynaformer, bred by miasandia
DAMASO, c, Dansili-Perez Prado, by Kingmambo, bred by iant7
COME SUNDOWN, c, Shanghai Bobby-Maricopa Well’s, by Seeking The Gold, bred by bird
WALK BY FAITH, c, Orfevre-Dangerous Waters, by A.P. Indy, bred by billzelite
MUTUAL OF OMAHA, c, Animal Kingdom x Sunday Silence, bred by stoners

MY CLEOPATRA, f, Awesome Again-Urbane Legend, by A.P. Indy, bred by desimster
PROUD CHOICE, f , Giant’s Causeway-Redoute’s Cat, by Redoute’s Choice, bred by gcphantom2
FRAGILE WINGS, f, More Than Ready x Gone West, bred by goofyscott69
WEST POINT CADET, f, War Front-Congie’s Kindness, by Dehere, bred by toots
CHAMAELEON, f, Galileo-Giants Lost Girl, by Giant’s Causeway, bred by bcmile
ABUELA , f, Frankel-Granny L., by Kris S., bred by kingab
RISKY ENDEAVOR, f, Medaglia D’Oro x Nureyev, bred by stablesix
HONOR THE CAT, f, Tapit-Rally Cat, by Storm cat, bred by shiekabner
LOVE GODDESS, f, Curlin-On The Money,  by Tapit, bred by cgk2
PREDICT THE FUTURE, f, Fastnet Rock-S. Cannon, by Ela-Mana-Mou, bred by abc
GOOD TIMING, f, Oxbow x Seeking The Gold, bred by 4stardave
CUBANO, f, Teofilo-Mayberry, by Elusive Quality, bred by trotter1
ENGINE, f, Elusive Quality x Danehill, bred by unsunghero
GEOGRAFIA, f, Speightsown-Atlases, by Pulpit, bred by smurf
LOVE TO DANCE, f, Cape Cross-Cupid’s Last Dance, by Dynaformer, bred by dshock

From the guy who retired an unraced Bodemeister two-year-old filly by accident already this weekend, good luck to these chosen few. And remember, this is just for fun. I cannot be held responsible for jinxing the horses, trainers or anyone else within earshot.