Engelbert Humperdinck Will Have His Revenge on Seattle: What’s in a Name 2013

As I write this, I have just successfully named a horse Cthulhu.

I don’t know what it says about me, or what it may say about my horse. But it serves as a perfect introduction for my third annual “What’s In A Name?” article.

The theory behind it is simple, in that I am a believer that the potential quality of a horse may very well be linked to the quality of its name. For example: Mona Lisa is the name of one of the most famous works of art in the history of the world. But what if it had been named “Sally Ann Just Cut One In Front Of The Teacher”? Passing wind is not exactly a work of art, although I know a few residents of the chat room who might beg to differ. The Beatles names their famous 1967 album Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, creating an imaginary aura which is magical, mysterious, a tour of whimsy and creativity and a high-water mark for creative expression. 45 years later, Paul McCartney called a solo album “Kisses on the Bottom”, which conjures up something completely different. It could always have been worse: would you want a work of creative expression to be titled “Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water”? No, Fred Durst. (Honorable mention: “When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks Like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight and He’ll Win the Whole Thing ‘Fore He Enters the Ring There’s No Body to Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand and Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights and If You Know Where You Stand, Then You’ll Know Where to Land and If You Fall It Won’t Matter, Cuz You Know That You’re Right”. No, thank you, Fiona.)

The point for me has always been that if you’re trying to create something to be successful for posterity, try to make it have a name that’s lasting. If they had named Secretariat something like “Ikea Meatball”, would he have been champion, or just something Swedish and overpriced?

So, for each of the last 2 years, I’ve cast a light on names that sound like they might have a race named after them in 5 years. The results have been mixed, as I only took horses for the first 2 years that had been entered during juvenile racing’s opening weekend. This meant that only horses who had passed the entry box got looked over, and horses who did not got passed by. For every stakes winner I “discovered” in that first year, like Universal Speed or Smoke Seeker or Tsunami Song (inexplicably called Tsumani by me), or stakes-placed horse like Kendra or Reflected or Super Lady or Violin Ridge, there were massive, spectacular failures not worth reminding everyone of (particularly if you owned or bred them….woof). Most of the others fell somewhere in between, many good and others only fair. So, no champions, but pretty is as pretty does, and a pretty name can lead to some pretty future prospects.

Last year’s bunch…well, Naret and Highly Elusive are already stakes-placed, and Atlantic Lady has earned over $250,000 and six wins thus far. So far, that’s actually alright, statistically. Time will tell one way or another if last year’s projections projects an Eclipse in anyone’s future. Tears may or may not be shed, I dunno. Regardless, it’s a theory that deserves to go a few more rounds.

This year’s list will number a total of 30 well-named horses with potential: 15 colts, and 15 fillies. But the new game has caused me to reconfigure a few things. For one, juvenile racing started way too early. As in, January. So I couldn’t go by predicting these things before the first baby races were carded. But the game does allow you to look at sire stats and see unraced horses in the mix with horses with a couple starts under their belts. So, I’ve perused the top 200 sires of two-year-olds by total runners, and have gone through the names of horses who are unraced only to come up with the list of potential future stars, because I can’t let early results influence my thinking. I’m also limiting myself to one sire per horse, so the Bernardini with the second-most promising name is going to have to settle for Miss or Mister Congeniality, and then key my car in the parking lot later. As long as any horse is unraced by the time this article hits the press, they qualify for the list.

Here are the list of future stars, who have a name to grow into on the track.

Sky Ranger, c, Sea The Stars x Montjeu, trained by bliss
Lieutenant Dan, c, Medaglia D’Oro x Danzig, trained by kobras6
Caribbean Gold, c, Bernardini-Belle of the Bayou, by Seeking the Gold, trained by fatattack
Give Me Shelter, c, Street Cry-Sheltered, by A.P. Indy, trained by temp2
Prospector’s Claim, c, Curlin-Jupiter’s Gold, by Encosta De Lago, trained by mubofsmub
Through The Light, c, Lonhro-Much Light, by Candy Ride, trained by mav1764
Final Strike, c, Smart Strike-Final Future, by Sadler’s Wells, trained by mtklaz09
Virtue, c, Quality Road-Syrup On The Side, by Medaglia D’Oro, trained by wisedan
Demonstrating, c, Mastercraftsman-Ratsun, by Monsun, trained by georgiastud
Rainbow Spirit, c, Invincible Spirit-Full Rainbow, by Tapit, trained by pher
Dream Force, c, Hard Spun-Kobra Strike, by Ghostzapper, trained by cgk
Western World, c, Stormy Atlantic-Pioneer Signet, by Gone West, trained by riothouse
Dragos, c, War Front-Moldavia, by Ghostzapper, trained by temp2
Reform, c, Hussonet-Dawgie Girl, by Pivotal, trained by gowans3
Ashanto, c, Union Rags-Kepler Sulphate, by Forty Niner, trained by ceclaim44

Eternal Happiness, f, Unbridled’s Song-Granger Pond, by A.P. Indy, trained by schillachi
Frankly, f, Frankel x Danzig, trained by prfctdrft
Paradise Beach, f, Giant’s Causeway-At The Beach, by Kingmambo, trained by super16
Wicked Intention, f, Galileo-Bad Behavior, by Gone West, trained by ritchie
Hippie Music, f, Flower Alley-Cormoran, by Unbridled’s Song, trained by mentalflos
Youonlyliveonce, f, Malibu Moon-Ibig, by Kingmambo, trained by drcracing
Diva Deluxe, f, Speightstown-Two Sun Cot, by Monsun, trained by generic08
Always Smooth, f, Elusive Quality-Party For Sassy, by Cat Thief, trained by lee02
Merrie Melodies, f, First Samurai-Foxy Mambo, by Mr. Greeley, trained by jersey2
Police Woman, f, Forestry-Ribbons Of Gold, by Seeking The Gold, trained by rezboss2
Veiled Romance, f, Street Sense-I Need Dough, by Seattle Slew, trained by johngcozie
Making Trouble, f, Tapit-Troublematic, by Awesome Again, trained by blazingsad
Honorable Cause, f, To Honor And Serve-Cause And Effect, by Giant’s Causeway, trained by seekgold
Calypso Gypsy, f, Henrythenavigator x Nijinsky II, trained by lawdro8
Adios, f, Pivotal-Aelios, by Dansili, trained by joker32

As ever, this is just my theory, that the right name can cover the right champion. I reserve the right to be wrong. If I exercised as much as I exercised it, I’d be thin. I can’t guarantee success of the theory, but it seems to make sense. Your opinions may vary on quality, but one thing is for sure: legendary horses often do take on legendary names, and it’s hard out her for a legend to become true. Good luck to the Lucky 30 this year.