{"id":9591,"date":"2011-09-13T21:48:07","date_gmt":"2011-09-13T21:48:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blacktypebugler.com\/?p=9591"},"modified":"-0001-11-30T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"-0001-11-30T00:00:00","slug":"oldbtb_99","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/?p=9591","title":{"rendered":"Your Horoscope for the Fall"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s time once again for the seasons to change which only means that your horse\u2019s horoscope will once again change.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>In the summer horoscopes, for anyone who paid attention, breeding any horse with A.P. Indy would lead to certain disaster.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I know some of you did not heed the warnings and have heard from many of you.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Here\u2019s a sample of what I got in my mail bag:<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

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\u201cI doubted your word.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I went ahead and used A.P Indy.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>What a big mistake that turned out to be.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>The offspring was born without a backbone.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>There\u2019s nowhere to put the saddle.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I regret not listening to my horoscope.\u201d.<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

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And then there was this one \u201cI bred with A.P. Indy and the offspring actually won his first time out.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I laughed and thought what kind of person reads those ridiculous horoscopes.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I do now.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>The horse came back to the stable and went on a rampage.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>He destroyed the barn and nearly kicked a lamp over.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I thought the city of Chicago was going to burn down again.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>It was the first time I ever had to put down a Sim-horse.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>He broke all four legs and his tail.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>What a disaster!\u00a0 <\/SPAN>From that day forward, I take my horoscope seriously\u201d<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

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Another reader wrote \u201cI spent all my BP\u2019s on using A.P. Indy last month.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>What a hideous offspring and the biggest mistake of my life.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Horse has four eyes!!!\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Two on the front of the head and two on the back.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>At first I thought this was great\u2026he could see where his competition was in all directions.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>He would have a huge advantage.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Well, so much for that thought.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>The darn horse thought the finish line was in the opposite direction. He keeps running around the track in the wrong direction.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Biggest waste of BP\u2019s in my life.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I will always take your horoscopes to heart going forward.\u201d<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

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And there are many, many more stories with very similar devastating results.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Now we\u2019ll move on the horoscope\u2019s for the fall.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>First, to determine your horse\u2019s birthdate, it appears in the racing program and is the first date that it has raced.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>If you just bred a horse and it hasn\u2019t raced, well then, as horoscope\u2019s go, it hasn\u2019t technically been born yet, so it has no horoscope.<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

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Aquarius 1\/20-2\/18<\/SPAN> <\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

Leaves are turning color and Aquarius horses love colors.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Seeing trees turn from green to red to orange to yellow simply sooths these horses.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>They just love to see the rainbow of colors.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Almost as much as they love to see the red planet Mars.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>They will be so relaxed, they won\u2019t be able to run.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Best advice, race the horses at tracks without trees.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>They will not be distracted by the pretty colors.<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

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Pisces 2\/19-3\/20<\/SPAN><\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

Do not\u2026I repeat\u2026Do not \u00a0<\/SPAN>race these cowardly horses anytime around Halloween.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Ghosts, goblins, witches\u2026.you name, they are terrified of all of these.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>They will break out of the starting gate and run away with no sense of direction.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>You\u2019ll never see your sim-horse again.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Lock them safely away in the stall and wait until Thanksgiving time.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>You will be generously rewarded.<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

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Aries 3\/21-4\/19<\/SPAN><\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

September is the time of year where school starts in many areas.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Aries horses have decided to become smarter and have engaged in obtaining a higher education and enrolled into first grade.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>They have already learned what vowels are\u2026and Aries horses hate them.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/SPAN>There are so few and they think they are a waste of time.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>They hate them so much, they refuse to race well at any track if they have to race in a month with a vowel in it.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>These planet Jupiter lovers need to be raced on in months with no vowels.<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

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Taurus 4\/20-5\/20<\/SPAN><\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

Taurus horses are bewildered.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>They have been observing those Jupiter loving Aries horses and noted their ridiculous behavior, especially with vowels.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>It just doesn\u2019t add up for the mathematicians.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Numbers are the place that mean anything.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>9 planets in the solar system, 9 days in a week, 9 months in a year.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>It\u2019s all about numbers.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>So the best place to put these guys to have the optimal chance of winning is in the 9th<\/SUP> race at any track and in the 9th<\/SUP> post position. <\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

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Gemini 5\/21-6\/20<\/SPAN><\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

Simply put, Gemini horses are stupid.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>But they are smart enough to see how brilliant Aries and Taurus horses aren\u2019t.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Neither of them are good at letters or math.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Gemini has the advantage here as they simply don\u2019t give a darn.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Just feed them some oats and let them run on the track.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>They don\u2019t care if there are any vowels in a month or how many days there are in a week.\u00a0 <\/SPAN><\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

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Cancer 6\/21-7\/22<\/SPAN><\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

Cancer horse love to believe in the in the unbelievable.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Like, UFO\u2019s, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, President O\u2019bama\u2026ok, you get the picture.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>But on top of their list of believes is in the Great Pumpkin.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Yes, this is the one and same from Charlie Brown and the Peanut gang.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>The closer we get to Halloween, the more excited they become.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>They will do anything to get themselves to sleep\u00a0 <\/SPAN>out in a pumpkin patch.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>After all, this may be the year they get to see the Great Pumpkin.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Not much you can do about this situation, but the stars say that they will have a mental breakdown in November from a huge disappointment.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I strongly encourage everyone to go the auction route immediately with this gang.<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

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Leo 7\/23-8\/22<\/SPAN><\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

Now, those of you who were wise enough to let go of your Cancer horses will find a load of Sim-cash in your account.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Now is time to grab the Leo horses.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Uranus is in a frivolous mood and Saturn is looking to hook up with this planet, which is an ideal condition for Leo horses.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Find them a private barn stall and let them have their time together.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>You will be rewarded with some wonderful offspring!<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

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Virgo 8\/23-9\/22<\/SPAN><\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

Boy do Virgo\u2019s love Halloween.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>They are out to win contests.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>You can make out well if you play your cards right.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Racing is a contest.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Enter them often and frequently.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>You will have to give in to some of their needs to keep them happy.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Halloween means wearing costumes.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>You will need to buy them one to wear during the week of Halloween, maybe even the week after.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Keep them happy and they will keep you happy.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I\u2019ve already bought zebra outfits for my Virgo\u2019s.<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

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Libra 9\/23-10\/22<\/SPAN><\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

Libra\u2019s will have a huge ego about them in the Fall.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Heck, Fall starts at about the same time that Libra\u2019s sign does.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>They think they are something very special.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>They will do their Libra Strut and sing songs like \u201cWalk Like a Libra\u201d, \u201cHopelessly Devoted to Libra\u2019s\u201d and \u201cDo You Want to Know a Libra\u201d.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Ego\u2019s will run at all-time highs.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>They think so highly of themselves that they will not workout at all.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>The results will be pitiful on the track.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Until these horses have their balloon popped, they will be a huge headache to deal with.<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

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Scorpio 10\/23-11\/21<\/SPAN><\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

As Venus, Mercury and Earth race around the sun, Scorpio\u2019s are ready to go.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>They enjoy when these three planets link up in a race and it get\u2019s their blood going.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Since they are ready to go, it\u2019s completely safe to race them in this status.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>You don\u2019t have to wait for a Sharp rating.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Send them to the lead and watch them fly!!\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Heck, these horses are betting on the planets so you may as well place some wagers on these horses and reap the benefits.<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

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Sagittarius 11\/21-12\/21<\/SPAN><\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

Fall is the start of American Football.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Sagittarius Colts just love football.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>And the fillies find themselves cheerleading for their favorite team.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>The sport keeps them in good spirits and you need to race them in the states at a track near their favorite team.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Racing overseas will be horrible.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Also, if their favorite team loses, you will see the results on the track.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>It\u2019s a bit of a crapshoot, but you can have tremendous results if your horse is a Jets fan and you race them in New York or New Jersey.<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

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<\/o:p><\/SPAN>Capricorn 12\/22-1\/19<\/SPAN><\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

Capricorn\u2019s love the Winter.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Problem is, it ain\u2019t Winter.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>But, temperatures are dropping and the closer the temperature equals the conditions on Pluto, the better these runners will be.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Ideally, you are looking for temperatures below 40-degrees (if I calculated correctly, I think that\u2019s something like fifteen-below in celcius).\u00a0 <\/SPAN>You can definitely find a few tracks scattered about where these conditions may evolve.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Take full advantage of them.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Otherwise, the Fall may be a good time to give these horses a nice long rest.<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Did You Avoid the Summer Downfalls?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":363,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"colormag_page_container_layout":"default_layout","colormag_page_sidebar_layout":"default_layout","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9591","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9591","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/363"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9591"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9591\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9591"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9591"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9591"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}