The plan was to remain on vacation from the BTB until the money ran out.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Then stage a triumphant return that would have all the sim in an uproar and give me the leverage I wanted to displace gold4ever<\/I>\u2019s current writing spot ahead of me AND secure a nice raise from the snowcheif<\/I> in the process.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>But as you can see from this black and white on your screen, the best laid plans of mice and men . . . well something happens to them . . . the plans that is . . .\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I think . . . where\u2019s Steinbeck when you need him?<\/FONT><\/P> I was snowboarding in the UAE (formerly Upon walking in the local watering hole, I noticed that I was walking into the welcome party for the RK Thoroughbreds sponsored stake sprints that are scheduled to take place this Saturday under the sunny skies of the \u2018Bokie<\/I>,\u2019 I called out, \u2018if you\u2019re rich enough to sponsor a race, you\u2019re rich enough to buy me a brew.\u2019\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Rbokie<\/I> to my surprise heeded my request and as he handed it to me I asked, \u2018So tell me about your stake race.\u2019<\/FONT><\/P> \u2018Well,\u2019 he began, \u2018there are actually two races we are sponsoring, so which one would you like to discuss?\u2019<\/FONT><\/P> \u2018The first one will be fine,\u2019 was my response.<\/FONT><\/P> \u2018The first race sponsored by RK Thoroughbreds is actually race #15 on the card and will be 5.5 furlongs in length on what is supposed to be fast dirt.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Beyond this, the race is restricted for horses six years old or older.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>The fifteenth race has six entrants including a runner out of my jetster<\/I> stable ROYALLY SHAFTED<\/B>.\u2019\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Rbokie <\/I>continued, \u2018SHAFTED<\/B> is a nice six year old runner that has won three of the last four sprints sponsored by RK and eight out of his last ten starts overall.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I have top jockey H. Harzheim in saddle who is scorching hot in 2009 ending up in the money in over 80% of his rides.\u2019<\/FONT><\/P> \u2018This is all fine and dandy,\u2019 I said, \u2018but I\u2019m looking for tips.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I need to be able to cash in on this race so I can extend my vacation away from the BTB.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I\u2019m hoping to be on a canal in \u2018Well,\u2019 Bokie<\/I> retorted, \u2018here\u2019s the morning lines and the post positions.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>As you can see, ROYALLY SHAFTED<\/B> is going off at 2\/1 odds from the first post.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Beyond that, look for my runner to break for the lead out of the gate, and if he has the lead at the first call, he hasn\u2019t lost.\u2019<\/FONT><\/P> \u2018Now we\u2019re getting somewhere,\u2019 I responded, \u2018what about this one?\u2019\u00a0 <\/SPAN>\u2018This one\u2019 was a horse named XTRA MILAGE. Rbokie<\/I> looked at where I was pointing and started, \u2018oh MILAGE<\/B> is 9inchtall<\/I>\u2019s six year old.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>As you can see, he is going off at 3\/1 odds according to the morning line and will break from the fifth post.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>9inchtall<\/I>!!,\u2019 Bokie<\/I> called across the room, \u2018tell our writer friend about MILAGE<\/B>!!\u2019<\/FONT><\/P> \u2018He has been doing great in allowance races lately,\u2019 9inchtall<\/I> started, \u2018winning two of his last three allowance runs.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>But he has been struggling with his last three stakes starts ending up out of the money in all of them.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>When he wins, he\u2019s catching them from the back of the pack.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I\u2019m getting worried that he just doesn\u2019t have the speed to catch the stakes level horses.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I\u2019ve been talking to my jockey, B. Addison, figuring out how we can get an allowance performance out of XTRA MILAGE<\/B> in a stakes race.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>In fact, I need to call him right now.\u2019<\/FONT><\/P> As 9inchtall <\/I>walked away to make the phone call, I felt a tap on my shoulder and found trainer jgaudet<\/I> behind me.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>\u2018What are you doing here?\u2019\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I asked.<\/FONT><\/P> Jgaudet<\/I> smiled and began, \u2018I\u2019m running TURKO BUTTER<\/B> in the fifteenth race this Saturday.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>He\u2019s my seven year old out of my silverball<\/I> stables.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I\u2019m excited about this race as it is the first stakes race for TURKO<\/B> since he was a two year old.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>He\u2019s been struggling a little lately in the allowances last winning in August 2008, but I\u2019m pretty happy with the morning line of 5\/1.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I and my jockey, T. Tippett, really think we can hit the board on this one out of the outside post.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>If we do, TURKO BUTTER<\/B> will do it by lurking, almost closing, from near the back of the pack.\u2019<\/FONT><\/P> \u2018Thanks for the information,\u2019 I said and turned my attention back to Rbokie<\/I>.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>\u2018Bokie<\/I>, I need information on the rest of these starters.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>What about FIGHT FOR FREEDOM<\/B>?\u2019<\/FONT><\/P> \u2018FIGHT FOR FREEDOM<\/B> has run in a RK sponsored race here before, finishing third behind ROYALLY SHAFTED<\/B>.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>FREEDOM<\/B> is a nice seven year old runner for fredje <\/I>out of the hills <\/I>stable that was more of a route runner in his prime.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Fredje<\/I> has recently sent his brown horse into more sprints and has found some success ending up in the money in his last three sprint starts.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>The horse looks to break to the front, but has not been able to grab that lead lately at the first call.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>This has resulted in FREEDOM<\/B> fading down the stretch.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>In fact, I think fredje<\/I> is not here right now as he is talking to his jockey S.L. Ledwith about strategy out of the gate.\u2019<\/FONT><\/P> I looked at my sheet and noted that FIGHT FOR FREEDOM <\/B>was starting out the fourth post and had a morning line of 7\/1 odds.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Looking up to post number three, going off at a value bet of 47\/1 was a nine year old horse SIMPLE MAN<\/B>.<\/FONT><\/P> \u2018Oh that\u2019s mab123<\/I>\u2019s runner,\u2019\u00a0 <\/SPAN>started Bokie<\/I> as if he knew I wanted information, \u2018I think mab123<\/I> entered this stakes just so he could attend this welcome party.\u2019<\/FONT><\/P> I looked over to a corner where mab123<\/I> was sitting with three very attractive women sitting with him around the table.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>He did appear to be enjoying himself (please note:\u00a0 <\/SPAN>mab123<\/I> if you are a female, I do apologize in advance, but I need you to be a male in this article for the following \u2013 thanks for understanding).\u00a0 <\/SPAN>As I turned back towards to Rbokie <\/I>I heard a shout from the corner I was just looking at that sounded like, \u2018HEY EVERYBODY, LOOK AT ME \u2013 I\u2019M kirby!!!\u2019<\/I><\/FONT><\/P> \u2018Anyhow,\u2019 continued Bokie <\/I>chuckling at mab123, <\/I>\u2018SIMPLE MAN has not even seen a dirt surface since March of 2003.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>His last six starts have been on turf and there was a five and a half year break in there somewhere.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Beyond that, SIMPLE has not even won a race on dirt, and the races he won on turf were 7.5 and 9 furlongs.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Personally, I think the 47\/1 odds are kind.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Heck, T. Jay . . . \u2018<\/FONT><\/P> \u2018WHO\u2019S T. JAY?!\u2019 someone yelled from across the room.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>But before Rbokie<\/I> could answer that question he was POPPED on the side of the head by a flying empty can.\u00a0 <\/SPAN><\/FONT><\/P> We both looked at where this can was coming from only to see a very red faced and somewhat tottering squirrel <\/I>getting up from a table that had at least a ten level high can pyramid (or is that considered a castell?) and was attempting to walk towards us.<\/FONT><\/P> \u2018What is the squirrel<\/I> doing here?\u2019 I asked Rbokie<\/I> before she arrived.<\/FONT><\/P> \u2018Why she has the final entrant in the fifteenth.\u2019\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Bokie<\/I> responded while rubbing his head.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>\u2018She has been at that table for six hours now.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I think she\u2019s lamenting the inevitable that is going to happen to her entrant probably sooner rather than later.\u2019<\/FONT><\/P> \u2018WHO?!\u2019 I screamed.<\/FONT><\/P> \u2018Why SOLAR SONG<\/B>,\u2019 was his response.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>There was a second of silence between us as I digested this information when the somewhat unbalanced squirrel <\/I>arrived.<\/FONT><\/P> \u2018Both of you just shut it.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I know what you are saying,\u2019 she began in a half yell \u2013 half slur, \u2018you\u2019re saying, \u2018why is she running two time Horse of the Year and two time Breeder\u2019s Bowl Classic winner in a dirt sprint in the middle of the desert?\u2019\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Well, I tell you why.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I want to win another race with SONG<\/B>.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>You realize that my seven year old has not won a race in over a year?\u00a0 <\/SPAN>SOLAR SONG<\/B> is getting upset about this. I know because he told me.\u2019<\/FONT><\/P> She must have noticed the amused look on our faces as she yelled, \u2018That\u2019s right!!\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I talk to SOLAR SONG<\/B> all the time and he talks to me.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>You have a problem with that?\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Huh?\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I\u2019ll tell you what.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Since I seem to be amusing you so much with my training techniques, let\u2019s take a poll.\u2019\u00a0 <\/SPAN>She then crawled up on top of the bar and yelled, \u2018WOULD ALL THE TWO TIME TRAINER\u2019S OF THE YEAR PLEASE RAISE YOUR HAND!!\u2019\u00a0 <\/SPAN><\/FONT><\/P>