{"id":7147,"date":"2009-01-21T22:59:56","date_gmt":"2009-01-21T22:59:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blacktypebugler.com\/?p=7147"},"modified":"-0001-11-30T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"-0001-11-30T00:00:00","slug":"oldbtb_1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/?p=7147","title":{"rendered":"Are You Employed, Sir?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ah, yes, it\u2019s the long awaited Battle<\/st1:place><\/st1:city> of the Bargain Bred Achievers<\/strong>.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>And proud we are of all of them.\u00a0 <\/span>7 furlongs on the turf, in South Korea<\/st1:place><\/st1:country-region>, maiden with a modest 20k price tag.\u00a0 <\/span>Did I mention these are 4yo\u2019s and up?\u00a0 <\/span>Not exactly a lightweight\u2026more like a featherweight.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/p>\n

What\u2019s this all about, you ask?\u00a0 <\/span>Let me explain something about the Dude\u2026<\/font><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Way out East there\u2019s a fellow with the stable name of Lebowski00. \u00a0<\/span>He\u2019s perhaps the laziest man in all the Archipelago\u2026which would put him in the running for laziest worldwide, if it weren\u2019t for Beisbol….also known as Donny. Donny who loved bargain breds.\u00a0 <\/span>So now I\u2019m going to tell you a story that\u2019s every bit as stupefying as the idea itself.\u00a0 <\/span>You\u2019re not dealing with morons, here.<\/font><\/h1>\n

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/p>\n

The race is composed of 10 unraced, Bargain Bred, 4yo maidens<\/em>.\u00a0 <\/span>5 from the Beisbol side, 5 from the Lebowski00 side.\u00a0 <\/span>There are 4 other horses in the race, but they weren\u2019t invited, so they don\u2019t count.\u00a0 <\/span>This is the SIM<\/st1:stockticker>, there are rules.\u00a0 <\/span>Am I wrong?<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Yes, the rules.\u00a0 <\/span>The rules say that the breeder must abide by the tenets of the <\/strong>Bargain Bred Racing Series<\/font>,<\/strong><\/a> run by Knightmare.\u00a0 <\/span>He\u2019s a good man, and thorough.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/strong> <\/span>But anyhoo, each breeder had to pick a sire and use him somewhere in all 5 pedigrees.\u00a0 <\/span>We were going to have a restricted race, but it was already the 10th<\/sup> and someone had stolen my briefcase with my business papers.\u00a0 <\/span>And the Creedence. The cops had no leads.\u00a0 <\/span>This is our concern, dude.\u00a0 <\/span>Mike did not receive the money.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/p>\n

So here they are, 10 entrants representing the 10 pins in this bowling alley we call life.<\/p>\n

Instead of analyzing pedigree on first time starters (BORING!), I\u2019ll give you a little context on how the horses were named.\u00a0 <\/span>This, this is a worthy adversary.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Lebowski00<\/strong> \u2013 uses Royal Applause(GB)<\/font><\/a><\/strong> as his foundation sire.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Mr.Treehorn(KY)<\/strong><\/font> \u2013 Jackie Treehorn, specifically, deals in publishing\u2026but is rumored to be in the smut business. He\u2019s got a sweet pad in Malibu<\/st1:place><\/st1:city>, but needs to hire some better help (they\u2019re not very good at millionaire identification).\u00a0 <\/span>The name literally refers to our hero\u2019s declaration that \u201cMr. Treehorn treats objects like women, man<\/strong>\u201d.\u00a0 <\/span>13-1\u00a0 <\/span>PP1<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Urban Achiever(SAF)<\/font><\/strong> \u2013 Shoot yeah, the Achievers! They may not have the necessary means for the necessary means for a higher education, but the Big Lebowski is racially pretty cool. \u00a0<\/span>Although not literally his children, the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers<\/strong> receive funding from the Foundation, which really has all the money.\u00a0 <\/span>16-1 PP2<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/p>\n

I\u2019m The Dude(WA)<\/font><\/strong> \u2013 So that\u2019s what you call him!<\/strong>\u00a0 <\/span>Self-referential term offered by Jeffrey himself\u2026don\u2019t call him Mr. Lebowski.\u00a0 <\/span>El Duderino is ok, if you\u2019re not into the whole brevity thing.\u00a0 <\/span>Cleverly enough, he is a Washington<\/st1:place><\/st1:state> bred, which jives historically with the Dude\u2019s time in the Seattle Seven.\u00a0 <\/span>That was him\u2026.and six other guys.\u00a0 <\/span>11-1 PP5<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Walter Sobchak(CO)<\/strong><\/font> \u2013 The once-stated full name of the Dude\u2019s sidekick who once dabbled in Pacifism.\u00a0 <\/span>Not in \u2018Nam<\/st1:place><\/st1:country-region>, of course.\u00a0 <\/span>We learn of his surname only via an answering machine message, which states that \u201cWalter Sobchak\u2026drew a firearm during league play<\/strong>.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>This contravenes a number of the SIM<\/st1:stockticker>\u2019s by-laws.\u00a0 <\/span>The race is on Saturday afternoon since he wouldn\u2019t run on Shabbos.\u00a0 <\/span>\u00a0<\/span>10-1 PP6<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Maude Lebowski(Eng)<\/font><\/strong> \u2013 Her stepmother is a nympho, she has a friend with a cleft bunghole, her work has been commended for its feminine anatomicality, and she wants Jeffrey to see the doctor.\u00a0 <\/span>Clearly she has a lot of issues.\u00a0 <\/span>If she wins the race, she\u2019ll collect a great sum of bones, or clams, or whatever you call them<\/strong>.\u00a0 <\/span>15-1 PP13<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/p>\n

And now on to Beisbol<\/strong> \u2013 he selected\u00a0Lavirco(GER)<\/strong><\/font><\/a> <\/strong>as his foundation sire<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Pigs In Blanket(FR)<\/font><\/strong> \u2013 The overwhelming favorite choice of Nihilists at the Pancake House, this refers to \u201cPigs In a Blanket\u201d, which they ordered in lieu of Lingonberry Pancakes.\u00a0 <\/span>Apparently losing your toe when you thought you would get a million dollars<\/strong> makes you lean towards the Swedish delicacy.\u00a0 <\/span>Superjock Mike Ockert breaks from PP4 and is 20-1.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Asian American(JPN)<\/strong><\/font> \u2013 The guy who peed on the rug?\u00a0 <\/span>You can\u2019t just go out and give him a bill! \u00a0<\/span>The Dude, in his distress, referred to him as the Chinaman, but clearly that is NOT the preferred nomenclature<\/strong>.\u00a0 <\/span>Asian American, please.\u00a0 <\/span>22-1 PP8<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Lottawhathaveyous(KY)<\/strong><\/font> \u2013 In the course of solving the mystery of Bunny Lebowski (she kidnapped herself), the Dude had to process a lot of different strands in his head.\u00a0 <\/span>Keeping his mind limber was important to keep his thinking from becoming uptight.\u00a0 <\/span>The case had a lot of facets<\/strong> \u2013 \u201c\u2026lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta what-have-yous.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>And all the Dude ever wanted was his rug back.\u00a0 <\/span>23-1 PP9<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Rugpeers(FR)<\/font><\/strong> –\u00a0 <\/span>The two gentlemen who \u201csoiled\u201d the Dude\u2019s rug were certainly a couple of goons with questionable sleuthing skills, but were not suspected of the kidnapping or the acquisition of the severed pinky toe.\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cRugpeers did not do this!\u201d was the conclusion.\u00a0 <\/span>Ever thus to deadbeats, Lebowski.<\/strong>\u00a0 <\/span>32-1 PP12<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Burkhalter(FR)<\/font><\/strong>–\u00a0 <\/span>Much to the dismay of Walter, the League Office posted the schedule for the next round robin, and it was not to his liking.\u00a0 <\/span>As you know, Walter honors 5,000 years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax, and therefore does not roll on Shabbos<\/strong>.\u00a0 <\/span>Still harboring ethnic resentment (he\u2019s living in the past), Mr. Burkhalter was loudly slurred (off-screen) and notified that he can UN-post it.\u00a0 <\/span>He had been told a thousand times.\u00a0 <\/span>Which is ample.\u00a0 <\/span>18-1 PP14<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/p>\n

It\u2019s clear that there is an unspoken message here \u2013 Beisbol was screwed with the post positions (4,8,9,12,14 vs. 1,2,5,6,13 for Lebowski00).\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life.\u00a0 <\/span>Stay tuned for more BoBBA races \u2013 after the, uh,\u00a0whathaveyou…<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We have Bunny. Gather $1,000,000 in unmarked, non-consecutive twenties. Await instructions. No Funny Stuff.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":144,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"colormag_page_container_layout":"default_layout","colormag_page_sidebar_layout":"default_layout","footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7147","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-previews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7147","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/144"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7147"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7147\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7147"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7147"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7147"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}