{"id":6263,"date":"2008-07-07T20:03:38","date_gmt":"2008-07-07T20:03:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blacktypebugler.com\/?p=6263"},"modified":"-0001-11-30T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"-0001-11-30T00:00:00","slug":"oldbtb_99","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/?p=6263","title":{"rendered":"Potshots II – Eclectic Bugaboo"},"content":{"rendered":"

Special thanks to Snowchief, Roys, and Squirrel of the Black Type Bugler, whose steady hands guide a wonderful outfit.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Please be sure to check out Roys<\/st1:place><\/st1:City>\u2019 entertaining Snapshots series, which was the inspiration for the article you are now reading.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Keep \u2018em coming, Roys<\/st1:place><\/st1:City>!<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/B><\/P>

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/B><\/P>

This week, I thought it prudent to track down one of the stars of days gone by, whose brilliance may have faded a bit in our collective minds\u2019 eye.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/SPAN>But not rightly so.<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/B><\/P>

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/B><\/P>

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/B><\/P>

Prologue:<\/SPAN>\u00a0 <\/SPAN>In the fall of 1994 a mediocre 13-time loser of a racehorse with a decidedly turf-oriented pedigree was entered into a modest\u00a02nd level\u00a0allowance race on the dirt at Aqueduct.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>What followed was a string of 16 straight wins and the legacy that goes along with becoming \u201cAmerica<\/st1:place><\/st1:country-region>\u2019s Champion\u201d.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>The bright lights soon faded, however, for our semi-willing interviewee.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>You can find his Past Performances at the somewhat invisible (but real) link below.<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/B><\/P>

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/B><\/P>

\u00a0http:\/\/www.drf.com\/hcponline\/samples.269.pdf<\/FONT><\/A><\/A><\/SPAN><\/B><\/P>

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/B><\/P>

(Interpreted for the BTB by whispering \u201cMonty R.\u201d at the Kentucky<\/st1:PlaceName> Horse<\/st1:PlaceName> Park<\/st1:PlaceType><\/st1:place>)<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/B><\/P>

First name?<\/SPAN><\/B><\/P>

<\/SPAN><\/B><\/o:p><\/SPAN>\u00a0<\/P>

I\u2019ve only got one name, you doofus. It\u2019s on my halter plate, on the door, and on the front of the brochure.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>You know who I am.<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

Favorite food?<\/SPAN><\/B><\/P>

<\/SPAN><\/B><\/o:p><\/SPAN>\u00a0<\/P>

Peppermints are so clich\u00e9, but back when I was the champ I\u2019d get 50 pounds of Brachs Starbrite Peppermint Disks, weekly.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I could tell the difference between those and the off-brands by smell.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Only the best for the best, you know what I\u2019m saying?<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

Dog or cat?<\/SPAN><\/B><\/P>

<\/SPAN><\/B><\/o:p><\/SPAN>\u00a0<\/P>

I\u2019m a vegetarian.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>What kind of question is that?\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Don\u2019t you want to ask me about the streak?<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

(disdainful look)<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

Who let this amateur in here?<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

Ok, let\u2019s talk about the streak.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>At what point did you rea-<\/SPAN><\/B><\/P>

(interrupts)<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

I remember it like it was yesterday.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I was pure greatness from Day One, except that those moron human handlers of mine didn\u2019t have a clue.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Why do you think it took them a year and a half to put me back on the dirt?\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I could run on broken glass if I felt like it \u2013 I just knew where the glory was, see?\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Does anybody remember the Breeder\u2019s Cup Mile winner two years later?\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I don\u2019t think so.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I was holding back on the green until \u201cApplesauce\u201d performed an autorectal craniotomy and put me where I could be appreciated.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>If it wasn\u2019t for me, he\u2019d still be mucking stalls in South Dakota<\/st1:State><\/st1:place> somewhere.<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

(Editor\u2019s note:\u00a0 <\/SPAN>\u201cApplesauce\u201d is an apparently pejorative reference to trainer William Mott)<\/SPAN><\/I><\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

I saw you in the Citation Challenge at Arlington<\/st1:PlaceName> Park<\/st1:PlaceType><\/st1:place>, where you tied the big record.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>What do you have to say to the critics who say the race was a sham, tailored for your specific talents or limitations?<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/B><\/P>

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/B><\/P>

Listen, Dumb Ball, or whatever your name is, those 30 thousand people in attendance were not there to see that pissant Unbridled\u2019s Song with his gimp shoe and his wanna-be Gambino clan-misfits.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Dramatic Gold wasn\u2019t good enough to pick my hooves.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I carried 130 pounds of deadweight, including my overrated passenger Jerry B. \u2013 talk about making somebody\u2019s career.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>That guy STILL owes me.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Yeah, I saw you too \u2013 you were kneeling at the throne of the incomparable, invincible, unbeatable ME.<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

.<\/SPAN><\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

You seem quite cocksure for a fella who spends his days in a museum, hanging out with geriatric geldings\u2026<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/B><\/P>

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/B><\/P>

Listen buddy, back in 1997, \u00a0<\/SPAN>I had a Grade One race named after me, a day proclaimed in my honor, and a bronze statue erected.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I doubt you even made it out of Grade 1, Mr. Fake-horse Journalist.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>All 34 of the ladies that paid the \u201cBig C\u201d a visit that Spring left with a smile across their lips, if you catch my drift.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Smokin\u2019!\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Don\u2019t tell me I didn\u2019t give and give \u2018till I couldn\u2019t give no more!\u00a0 <\/SPAN>This horse was born to run, baby \u2013 humans have always been messin\u2019 up my game since Day 1.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>It’s their loss, not mine, if they wanna put me where more of their<\/B> kind has access to greatness than the less fortunate slowpokes of my<\/B> breed.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>Why begrudge the loyal subjects who want to worship their King?<\/o:p><\/B><\/SPAN><\/P>

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

But didn\u2019t anyone tell you why the truckloads of mares mysteriously stopped showing up?<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/B><\/P>

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/B><\/P>

I realize you couldn\u2019t possibly<\/I> understand this, but when you\u2019ve got the goods like I do, it\u2019s often too much for the commoner to handle.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I won SIXTEEN RACES IN A ROW<\/B>.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>ONE, SIX<\/B>. I\u2019ve got almost 10 mil in the bank, Basehead\u2026and those are 1990\u2019s Escalade dollars, not these flaccid economy 2008 Prius dollars.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>I\u2019m sure the \u2018cover\u2019 experience was so intense that word got out – Big C plays it bigtime, all the time \u2013 and the powers that be just figured it\u2019s not worth the risk of a rupture, or the mortal shock of being in my carnal presence.<\/SPAN><\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

I hate to tell you this, sir, but you\u2019re here because\u2026 you shoot blanks.<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/B><\/P>

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/B><\/P>

(whinnies unintelligibly to the interpreter)<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

\u00a0<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

Get my lawyer on the phone.\u00a0 <\/SPAN>SECURITY!<\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P>

This interview is over.<\/SPAN>\u00a0<\/o:p><\/SPAN>(aside) I am gonna KICK that lowlife Applesauce so hard he\u2019ll wish he were frozen from concentrate!\u00a0 <\/SPAN><\/SPAN><\/P>

<\/SPAN><\/SPAN>\u00a0<\/P>

<\/SPAN>(The reporter is being escorted from the grounds\u2026don\u2019t tase me, Bro!)<\/B><\/o:p><\/SPAN><\/P><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(Second in a series of hypothetical interviews)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":130,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"colormag_page_container_layout":"default_layout","colormag_page_sidebar_layout":"default_layout","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6263","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6263","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/130"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6263"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6263\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6263"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6263"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6263"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}