We all remember the following press release a few months back<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PRESS RELEASE \u2013 Derby Fever Convening Authority<\/strong> FOR IMMEDIATE DISTRIBUTION<\/strong> Date: 12 April 2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The Derby Fever Convening Authority today confirmed that the 2026 Championship Weekend\u2014traditionally split between Vermont (Dirt) and the turf venue nearest the Olympic host nation\u2014will instead be staged entirely in Australia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Following a full board session marked by spirited debate, colourful personalities, and the usual blend of passion and chaos, the Authority voted unanimously to relocate both major race days to two of Australia\u2019s premier racing centres:<\/p>\n\n\n\n This decision follows logistical complications at the traditional venues and the unexpected opportunity presented when Chairman Matty \u201cChips\u201d R. accidentally initiated discussions with Brisbane officials ahead of schedule.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019ve been following the official line from the Convening Authority, you\u2019d think the Equinics venue change was a neat, tidy, professionally executed relocation. A simple switch. A strategic adjustment. A \u201cminor logistical correction.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Well, strap your boots on, because your mate Dingo Magee has dug up the truth\u2014and it\u2019s messier than a mud\u2011soaked maiden at Kununurra.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What really happened behind those polished mahogany doors wasn\u2019t strategy. It wasn\u2019t planning. It wasn\u2019t even organised chaos. <\/p>\n\n\n\n And thanks to a leaked boardroom snapshot\u2014featuring the now\u2011legendary captions: \u201cMr Chairman, do you think anyone will notice we moved the races?\u201d<\/strong> \u201cNah no way, but if they do just say it was Magoo\u2019s idea.\u201d<\/strong> \u2014we now know exactly how deep this wombat hole goes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you thought the Equinics venue switch was just another harmless shuffle of turf and dirt, pull up a camp chair and crack open a warm can of VB, because this yarn goes deeper than a wombat burrow and twice as messy. While the official press release painted the decision as a \u201cstrategic relocation,\u201d your old mate Dingo Magee has been sniffing around the back corridors of the Convening Authority\u2014where the real decisions are made, usually by accident\u2014and what I\u2019ve uncovered will have the Derby Fever community kicking up more dust than a Perth straightaway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It all started with a leaked snapshot from inside the boardroom, showing the boys gathered around the table under the now\u2011infamous banner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That, dear readers, was the moment I knew something stank worse than a jockey\u2019s laundry basket.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Behind the polished statements and tidy explanations lies a tale of forgotten paperwork, accidental emails, sleeping board members, bruised egos, and a residency committee that somehow managed to relocate the entire Equinics weekend to Australia without meaning to. And now, thanks to a few loose tongues, a misplaced USB stick, and one very talkative chicken from Johnno\u2019s factory, The Black Stump Bungler can finally reveal what really<\/em> happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Transcript of the Special Meeting of the Derby Fever Convening Authority<\/strong> Subject: 2026 Championship Weekend Venue<\/strong>: Back Room Dan Murphy’s The Cellar Martin Place Sydney Australia Date:<\/strong> 12 April 2026.<\/p>\n\n\n\n [10:47 AM \u2013 Meeting finally starts after an early morning wine tasting]<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Chips (Chairman):<\/strong> Alright fellas\u2026 let\u2019s\u2026 uh\u2026 get this thing underway. Sorry for the delay, I was\u2026 well\u2026 anyway. We gotta sort out where we\u2019re running the big weekend. Dirt\u2026 turf\u2026 Olympics\u2026 Italy\u2026 Vermont\u2026 all that stuff.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Magoo:<\/strong> You\u2019re already confused, Chips. We haven\u2019t even started and you\u2019re confused. And why are we talking about Italy again? I\u2019m sick of Italy. I\u2019m sick of Vermont. I\u2019m sick of this meeting. (falls asleep mid\u2011rant, \u201cZ Z Z\u201d)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Karen (male):<\/strong> Can we just skip to the part where none of my horses get selected again? Because that\u2019s what always happens. Every Equinics. Every single one. I don\u2019t even know why I\u2019m here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Tenpoint:<\/strong> We\u2019re here because we need a venue that guarantees results. Winning results. My results. That\u2019s the only thing that matters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Crawf:<\/strong> Let\u2019s take a breath. Chips, maybe start with what\u2019s actually wrong with Vermont and Italy. One thing at a time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Chips:<\/strong> Right, right\u2026 good idea Crawf. So\u2026 Vermont\u2019s dirt track is\u2026 uh\u2026 not ready. Something about resurfacing. And Italy\u2019s turf track\u2026 well\u2026 they didn\u2019t send the paperwork. Or maybe I didn\u2019t send the paperwork. Hard to say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Johnno:<\/strong> Mate, you didn\u2019t send it. Let\u2019s not pretend. You\u2019re slower than the chickens at my factory, and they don\u2019t even have thumbs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Glen More:<\/strong> Italy? Vermont? Boys, I\u2019ve run races in worse places. I once organised a whole meet on a paddock that was half underwater. Still got it done. This is nothing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sam:<\/strong> (quietly)<\/em> Australia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n (Everyone stops talking. Even Magoo wakes up.)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Chips:<\/strong> Australia? Yeah\u2026 yeah\u2026 I actually emailed Brisbane last night by accident. They replied. So\u2026 maybe that\u2019s a sign?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Magoo:<\/strong> You WHAT? You bent the rules without me? I\u2019m the rule\u2011bender around here! (falls asleep again)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Karen:<\/strong> Of course Brisbane replies. Of course. And of course none of my horses are representing the residency. Typical.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Tenpoint:<\/strong> Australia works. Brisbane turf is fast. Perth dirt is predictable. Predictable is good. Predictable is winnable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Crawf:<\/strong> It\u2019s actually a sensible option. Good facilities. Good weather. No Olympic licensing headaches.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Johnno:<\/strong> Plus the people love it. And by people, I mean not the chickens. They don\u2019t care. But the humans will love it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Glen More:<\/strong> I\u2019ve raced in Brisbane. I\u2019ve raced in Perth. I\u2019ve raced everywhere. Australia\u2019s easy. You\u2019ll thank me later for already knowing everything about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sam:<\/strong> (again, quietly)<\/em> Brisbane on the 15th. Perth on the 16th.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Chips:<\/strong> Right\u2026 yes\u2026 perfect. Turf in Brisbane August 15. Dirt in Perth August 16. Easy. Done. Let\u2019s vote. But\u2026 uh\u2026 before we vote\u2026 we should probably talk about the Derby Fever community. They might\u2026 you know\u2026 notice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Magoo:<\/strong> (wakes up)<\/em> Who cares if they notice? Just tell them it was my idea. They already blame me for everything anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Karen:<\/strong> They WILL notice. They always notice. They notice when my horses don\u2019t get selected. They notice when the weather is wrong. They notice when the font on the race card changes. They\u2019ll definitely notice this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Tenpoint:<\/strong> Let them push back. They don\u2019t understand what it takes to win. They complain, but they still show up. They always show up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Crawf:<\/strong> We should at least acknowledge their concerns. It\u2019s a big shift. Two hemispheres away from the traditional setup. Some players will feel blindsided.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Johnno:<\/strong> Blindsided? Mate, half the community thinks the races are run by chickens anyway. They\u2019ll be fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Glen More:<\/strong> Pushback? I\u2019ve dealt with pushback since before half of you were born. I once changed a whole racing calendar overnight. People yelled for a week. Then they got over it. They\u2019ll get over this too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sam:<\/strong> (quietly)<\/em> Transparency helps.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Chips:<\/strong> Right\u2026 transparency\u2026 yes\u2026 good idea. We\u2019ll tell them\u2026 uh\u2026 something. Maybe that it was Magoo\u2019s idea. Actually\u2026 if you are asked … “do you think anyone will notice we moved the races?\u201d Just reply \u201cNah no way, but if they do just say it was Magoo\u2019s idea.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Magoo:<\/strong> (asleep head on the table, raises his thumb)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Karen:<\/strong> Who cares, I just want to know why my horse wasn’t chosen to race for us?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Tenpoint:<\/strong> We\u2019ll manage the pushback. Winning solves everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Crawf:<\/strong> Let\u2019s just communicate clearly. That\u2019s all I\u2019m asking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Johnno:<\/strong> I\u2019ll tell the chickens. They\u2019ll spread the word.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Glen More:<\/strong> I\u2019ve already drafted a message. Better than whatever Chips will send.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sam:<\/strong> (quietly)<\/em> Vote.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Magoo:<\/strong> Yes. Let me leave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Karen:<\/strong> Yes. Even though it won\u2019t help my horses. Nothing ever does.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Tenpoint:<\/strong> Yes. Winning conditions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Crawf:<\/strong> Yes. Logical choice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Johnno:<\/strong> Yes. The chickens approve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Glen More:<\/strong> Yes. I\u2019ve already done it anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sam:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Chips:<\/strong> I\u2026 uh\u2026 forgot to vote. But yes. Definitely yes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Equinics relocation wasn\u2019t a decision. It was an accident. A blunder. A comedy of errors held together by duct tape, chickens, and the failure of a board to take into account the history of this event that somehow managed to get The Equinics to the starting gates.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And now, thanks to leaked photos, loose lips, and one very brave chicken, the truth is out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This was Bureaucracy at its most gloriously dysfunctional, and your old mate Dingo will be here with a cold tinny and a notepad the next time the board decides to reinvent the sport by mistake.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Until then, keep your ears open, your horses honest, and your chickens close. You never know who\u2019s listening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Australia didn\u2019t win the Equinics. It tripped over the finish line and landed on it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Last Comment:<\/strong> Karen still can’t get a horse on to the team!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Black Stump Bungler Pty Ltd Back of Bourke (somewhere in Outback Australia) – A Subsidiary of The Black Type Bugle<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24692,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75856"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24692"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=75856"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"http:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75856\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":75874,"href":"http:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75856\/revisions\/75874"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=75856"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=75856"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/btb.ehorseracing.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=75856"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\ud83c\udfc6 Derby Fever Announces Relocation of 2026 Championship Weekend to Australia<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc0e The Scandal They Tried to Bury Under the Brisbane Turf<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udcf8 Leaked Boardroom Photo<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"\"\/](\"https:\/\/144555952-595780471902379511.preview.editmysite.com\/uploads\/1\/4\/4\/5\/144555952\/chips-board-room_orig.jpg\")
\ud83c\udf99\ufe0f Transcript Begins<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udde3\ufe0f Discussion of Community Pushback<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\uddf3\ufe0f Vote<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\ud83d\udc0d Final Word from “Dingo” Magee<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n